Let’s clear some things up.

I am not against medicine, science or technology.

If it weren’t for all those things, I probably would have died during my first pregnancy/birth.  Several friends of mine would have had tiny caskets to bury instead of enjoying a healthy toddler today.  Others I know would have died from cancer long ago.  The list goes on.

With that being said, there are a lot of tenets surrounding medicine, science and technology that I question.  I think we all should question, be willing to at least dig for the why’s and how’s, and then still be willing to say we just don’t absolutely know.  Taking our ques from the latest media or doggedly following a doctor’s opinion is setting oneself up for some big mistakes.

I hate giving specific examples because so often people get lost on a tangent as they frantically point out all the exceptions and what happened to their sister’s husband’s boss’s friend, but here goes…

A lot of people thought I was crazy seven years ago when I threw out all our plastic toys and sippy cups.  I just bit my tongue when about five or six years later the larger media caught wind of the story and then finally the majority of parents knew enough to be enraged about toxins like lead and BPA in our children’s items.

I’ve been asked why on earth I would use cloth diapers in this day and age.  What most parents don’t know is that many disposable diapers contain a long list of chemicals.  Sure, as a parent you can just trust that the “experts” are doing their job of keeping products safe.  But I’m just not the sort of person who waits for the diaper companies to write on their packages, “Caution, this product contains an ingredient similar to the substance that was banned from tampons long ago due to it’s link to toxic shock syndrome. Use at your own risk.”  Suddenly, the telltale droopy dangle from a soaked gel-filled diaper isn’t quite so darling.

And I mentioned my first pregnancy.  Yeah, it was medicine and technology that ended up saving me, but it was my unresponsible, unquestioning trust in them that got me there in the first place.

You see, I was diagnosed with really high blood pressure later in my pregnancy that progressed to eclampsia and toxemia.   Their standard protocol was to eat more saltines, drink more water, and rest with my feet up.  I have no idea who comes up with this stuff.  That kind of salt is perhaps the worst thing I could have been eating.  Since I was gaining weight so rapidly due to my blood pressure problems, I was avoiding protein and good fats.  Again, the worst thing I could have done.  But they told me I was doing it exactly right.

I was also eating fast food every day for 2 of my meals.  I started out packing a lunch, but severe pregnancy exhaustion, plus the fact that I had to be at work at 6:30 am, meant that habit quickly died.  I would usually grab a cheeseburger and a water.  Once in a while I’d get the fries too, since a meal was so cheap and I’d get hungry again so quickly after eating.  I thought that beef, dairy, fresh tomato and lettuce, and a bun couldn’t be all that bad.

What most of us don’t know is the extremely high sodium content in those foods, the dyes and preservatives in every single item, and the formaldehyde all fast food beef is washed in.  Yum.

Okay, so this is just one illustration.  My point is, I know so so so so many people who, like I once did, only get their info from one kind of source, end up in trouble, and then need that same source to help save them.

Now, the vaccine issue.

I am not against parents choosing to vaccinate their children.  All parents certainly should do what they believe is best for their children, their circumstance, and their lifestyle.

I also think parents should be getting ALL the information before they make the choice to vaccinate or not vaccinate.

There are risks with not vaccinating, and there are risks with vaccinating.  The sad thing is, most parents do not receive enough information to make an educated decision.  Most of them ask their pediatrician, and 99% of them will scare parents into vaccinating.

It’s not the doctors’ fault.  We want to believe that they know all the information there is, pro and con, and will pass that on to us.  The largest problem with this is, they get one-sided information handed to them, too.  Doctors are bombarded with tons of papers and journals that are almost impossible to sort through fully.  They fall back on the trusted assumptions that have morphed over the years into spoon-fed dogma.  They’ll say things like “vaccines are estimated to save millions of lives each year”.  They’ll bring up polio and state how the vaccine has virtually eradicated it.  If all else fails, they may, at best, paint the “anti-vaccine” people as ignorant fools who are unaware of the history of vaccinations that have made our “virtually disease-free” society possible, or at worst, as quacks who fall prey to conspiracy theories and put all of us at risk.

What the majority of parents fail to learn is that vaccine damage is not opinion, but based on documented facts with detailed references, most of it from the Center of Disease Control (CDC) itself.  They don’t hear things like the fact that there are more than one hundred vaccine antigens that are injected into children before kindergarten, that the U.S. has paid more than $1 billion to vaccine injured people, that most outbreaks occur in fully vaccinated or over 95% vaccinated populations, that the government’s own records clearly show that childhood diseases (including polio) were in sharp decline before the introduction of vaccines, that vaccines contain at least 39 different toxic additives, preservatives and cell types introduced during the manufacturing process, that the combination effect of all these toxins in children has never been studied (nor has the effect several toxins and antigens being administered at the same time been studied), that cow, chicken, pig, monkey, and human fetus tissue are commonly used in the manufacturing of vaccines, that therefore vaccines can contain contaminants from these animals that are passed on to the vaccinated child…

When it comes to the supposed safety of vaccines, most parents never learn that vaccine studies are relatively small, short and include only healthy children.  When a vaccine trial has been completed, however, vaccines are given to all children, regardless of the condition of their health, family history, or genetics.   Most clinical trials monitor side effects for only 21 days, and sometimes even for only 5 days.

In addition, most parents are shocked to learn that vaccine safety studies do not use a true placebo. One of the standards in medical research is the “placebo-controlled” trial. An inactive substance such as a sugar pill is given as a placebo to one group of participants, while the treatment group is given the new drug. The data is analyzed to compare the number of side effects that occurred in those given the drug compared to the numbers of side effects that occurred in those given the placebo. However, the “placebo” used in vaccine research is not an inert substance such as sterile water; it is another vaccine. Inert, sterile water doesn’t cause a reaction; as substitute vaccine can. If both groups of babies in a trial have the same number of reactions, the study reports that the vaccine “is as safe as a placebo.” This is deceptive science.

It all ties together with the never-discussed fact that vaccine-induced antibodies do not correlate with protection. In fact, the journal Vaccine stated this clearly: “It is known that, in many instances, antigen-specific antibody titers do not correlate with protection.” (The full reference can be found at PMID: 11587808)

I fully vaccinated my first two children fully, including boosters, with no noticeable negative effects.  I never even questioned the idea of vaccinations.

That changed with my third child.  No one at all ever mentioned that she could be at higher risk since she had struggled with things like thrush and severe constipation all through infancy.  I don’t think my doctor even knew of the correlation between vaccine damage and gut health.  And I didn’t know enough then to realize that the health of my child was my responsibility, not my doctor’s.  Lesson learned.

So I will continue to communicate the side of vaccines that isn’t so prevalent.  Parents have a right to be educated about vaccines.  When I hear parents spout the same old tired fear-based mantras surrounding vaccines, I know they aren’t educated on both sides of the issue.  When they are offended by factual information regarding the dangers of vaccines, treat my children as if they carry the plague, or ridicule my choice, it’s a clear sign they aren’t informed.  They are indoctrinated.

I don’t even think all parents should not vaccinate!  If a parent is not willing to hold themselves fully responsible for their child’s health, carry out the difficult task of nourishing their bodies consistently so they can lead healthy lives, and learn effective alternatives to treat problems, then they should vaccinate.  I even tell parents that I will not try to convince them one way or the another.  I will give information, but a parent needs to be fully persuaded in their own mind of their decision.

This could also go for such things as giving birth at home, drinking raw milk, and writing opinionated blogs.

Bottom line…  I fully appreciate and would in a heartbeat make full use of the wonderful and life-saving medicine and technology available.

I also believe, just as strongly, in making fully informed decisions as to why, when, and how I make use of it.

Tags: cloth diapering, homebirth, idiocy, medicine, presuppositions, vaccines

It was an interesting phone conversation, to say the least.

“Six children?!” she gasped.  “I cannot even imagine that.  I have enough trouble taking care of my cats!”

She went on to tell me about her three cats, one of which she recently began “fostering”.  They don’t get along well and their likely “troubled past” means that this one has to eat at this time, and these two have to eat this kind of food, and they can’t be in that room, and these two can’t be together, and oops, it’s time for this one’s medicine, and this one cries all night, and…

I just listened.

Three cats.

Three.

Cats.

Lord, help us.

I’m not hating on animals.  I’m not even hating on people who love animals.  But, really.  Really?!

For two years I had about 30 hens and 40+ goats.  There were days when I would spend an entire day helping mama goats birth babies, feed baby goats, milking goats, feeding goats…

And yet, even that could not even begin to compare to the exhilarating, exhausting, frustrating, and all-encompassing act of nurturing just one child.

And, um, just one more thing.

Animals, any animal, no matter how adorable, are not babies. Love on them, take pictures of them, whatever you want, but you are not their parent.  They are not your child.

It’s like telling a fireman about the match you lit the other day and then blew out.

Tags: children, idiocy

We were at a restaurant, waiting to be seated.

The hostess seated a group of people, which opened some spaces on the booth at the entrance waiting area.  A couple  immediately claimed the seats for their two children, even though there were elderly people left standing.

Later, another couple came in.  A seat a little further away was open, and they spent five minutes coaxing their young daughter to sit there while they waited for a table, even though she seemed perfectly content, even seemed to prefer, to stand with her parents.

What I want to know is

Am I the only one who thinks this is strange??

Since when do children, who don’t even like to sit very long, have first dibs on a seat, even over elderly people?  Kids have enough energy and stamina to ride bikes all afternoon or jump on the trampoline for hours, but they can’t stand for 10 minutes?

We have such weird ideas about children in this country.  We coddle them and dumb everything down, from insisting on a crappy children’s menu for our little darlings (that is full of fried, mono-colored food) to slathering everything they “own” with cartoon characters.

Oh, but that means we love children, right?  Our culture is just embracing childhood, right?  Hm.

Then why don’t we want them around?  Instead of truly including them in our lives, we fill their time with activities and events separate from us.  Pretty much everything a family could do together, from learning anything to our time at church, we reflexively follow a pattern in which we are disconnected and disengaged.  Oh, we call it something happy and cheery sounding so that we can feel like we’re doing a really great thing for them, but really, we just want a break.  Throw in some bright colors and annoying music, and wow, now we’ve really soothed our conscience.  Because doggone it, look at how much we cherish our children.

It’s as if we think that for children to have fun, they need to be doing something mindless.  Think about it.  When they’re babies, they absolutely love “helping”.  Give them a broom or a damp rag, and they’re entertained.  Children absolutely thrill at the opportunity to follow mommy and daddy, copying everything they do.  Heck, kids even love playing with a cardboard box.

The ironic thing is, even before children are interested, the majority of parents already begin to make the world of thoughtless foolishness mandatory by pushing their children away so they can “get something done” and, in the hopes of holding their children’s attention span longer, filling their day with plastic junk.

I remember the first time I lay my first child under one of those infant play centers.  It played music and flashed colored lights, supposedly to keep my baby entertained.  I lay him down, placed it over him and turned it on.  He stared at it with huge eyes for a few seconds, then promptly began screaming.  Sensory overload, much?

People who travel to other countries come to realize how odd it really is here.  Take Sweden, for example.  They don’t have state of the art playgrounds and most of the schoolyards don’t even have a fence.  But they acknowledge the need for open play.  That’s imaginative, child-led play.  They embrace the inherent ways children learn and grow, and seek to nurture that in the way they educate and plan a child’s day.

It’s a crazy concept for us here, where children begin organized sports at three years old and where we wouldn’t think of allowing Precious to play without rubber mulch to cushion her fall.  An elementary school teacher recently told me her students only have half an hour recess.  Per week.  Indoors.  It’s heartbreaking!

I read with interest a recent parenting article that suggested moms could make Spring Break spent at home an opportunity to teach their children life skills.  Things like sorting laundry, loading the dishwasher, and gardening were cited as excellent ways to bond while learning something beneficial.  I completely agree, but find it sad that such an idea is considered innovative.  More disheartening are the comments that follow such a recommendation, as parents lament the fact that their kids “would never” participate in such activities, or would complain the entire time.

Really?  May I just suggest we are raising a generation of brats?

And then there’s all the stuff.  Just looking at the crap toys we have for children can drive a parent mad.  I was reminded of the tragedy that is our country’s toy stores when I recently tried finding a couple big trucks that didn’t make noise and a doll stroller that was a normal color.  (As in, not fluorescent pink.)  I walked out of the store empty-handed.  The aisles are loaded with television character action figures, Disney junk and video games.  Anything that requires imagination, or is made from a natural material, or at least isn’t colored a sickly color, is lost on a back shelf or nonexistent.  Thank goodness for online shopping, the saving grace of weird parents.

Bottom line - I am bewildered by the general parenting trends.  On one hand we expect ridiculously too much from our children.  We eventually view the erroneous conclusions of a horrid misunderstanding of children’s needs as normal, even necessary.  Things like eight hour school days for young children, majority of time spent indoors, more intense “education” and “socialization” at an increasingly younger age, and pushing infants to function independently.

On the other hand we then mollycoddle them, even despite our better judgment, in a misguided effort to make them “happy”.  Flavored milk and endless snacks devoid of nutrition , way too much television and video games, and minimal chores are par for the course.

Hey, I’m the last to claim I have this parenting gig figured out.  Maybe I’m way off.  Could it be I’m making a grave mistake by expecting my children to be more than consumers?

Maybe it’d be better to baby them endlessly by waiting on them hand and foot and fulfilling their every whim, turning them into such whiny brats that we ship them off every chance we get just to get a little peace and quiet.

You can tell it’s working quite well by the vast numbers of thankful, appreciative teenagers it’s producing.

Tags: children, family, idiocy, parenting

I was recently asked about socialization.

Honestly, I try so hard not to roll my eyes whenever someone brings that up.  To me, it shows the tendency humans have to simply parrot something they heard without actually thinking it through.

Behind the socialization question is the assumption that children are socialized via spending the majority of their time with other children of the same age.  Really?  Who came up with this definition?

Now, seeing as though the socialization question always arises from the subject of home schooling, behind that assumption is another assumption; School (government or private) is the best place for socialization to occur.  In actuality, I would dare say that teachers, in an effort to accomplish any education, waste a large portion of their time discouraging socialization.  No talking.  No passing notes.  Stand in single file, facing ahead.  Keep your desks in rows.  Stop whispering.

For most school children, recess is the only time that one can engage in any real form of socializing.  But I am told that many schools have now whittled recess down to a tiny portion of the children’s day, and some schools have tossed it out altogether.  In the schools’ defense, they’ve finally realized that recess usually involves undesirable consequences like bullying and injuries, and they’ve rightly concluded that really isn’t what socialization is about.

So what is socialization about?

Wikipedia describes it as “the process of inheriting norms, customs and ideologies. It may provide the individual with the skills and habits necessary for participating within their own society; a society itself is formed through a plurality of shared norms, customs, values, traditions, social roles, symbols and languages. Socialization is thus ‘the means by which social and cultural continuity are attained’.”

This raises several questions.  What ‘norms, customs and ideologies’ are children ‘inheriting’ in a school setting?  Are they valuable and beneficial?  Should this be the role of school?  If schools are supposed to ’supply the skills and habits necessary to participate within society’ and a society is a ‘plurality of shared norms, customs, values, traditions, social roles, symbols and languages’, how exactly does school accomplish this goal?

If a truly sociable person is an individual who can engage and relate with many people of different ages, race, income, and religion, one could say that students could learn those skills through making friends with other students who are different from them.  And yet, walk in any school and you will notice the self-segregated groups.  Private schools especially discourage diversity, just by their very nature.  There are, perhaps, fewer things as unbreakable and damaging as cliques, and schools are a breeding ground for them.  That mindset develops into a way of life.  Look at how many actually believe that it’s advantageous to live in places like subdivided neighborhoods or retirement communities.  Check out most people’s friends, on Facebook or real life.  We love homogeneous puddles of indistinguishable identity.

But here’s an interesting side note.   When socialization is brought up, I have found that most people who are concerned about the socialization of home schooled children are usually troubled about the possibility of them missing out on playing sports or attending prom.  Even setting aside the fact that some home schoolers do, in fact, still participate in those things… Are parents so small minded and compliant that they view such things as imperative to a child’s development?

The sad thing is, all of this just points to a disheartening reality; The typical parent isn’t as concerned about little Junior becoming a well-rounded, neighborly, free-thinking adult as much as they are worried about him reflecting well on them as a parent, fitting in, and adhering to their specific subculture’s definition of “cool”.

Tags: homeschool, idiocy, presuppositions

I watched a video last week, where Jamie Oliver reveals how elementary school children cannot identify vegetables. Notice their exclamation of horror when he first reveals the pile of fresh produce. Amazing.

It’s all part of his Food Revolution, his passion to revolutionize the way we think about food, particularly in regards to children’s diets. You can view the entire movie, Jamie Oliver’s TED Prize wish: Teach every child about food.

His main point was that while the home used to be the place where we learned about food, what is good and how to prepare it, we are now a culture in which people are consistently eating foods that are killing them and their children, and supposedly we have no idea how to stop that.

He proposed things like schools teaching children about fresh fruits and vegetables, changing school lunch menus, and placing a food ambassador in grocery stores.  From corporations to government, he recommended changes in the way we choose and prepare our food.

I admire his passion.  I don’t agree with his assumption that we’re idiots.

And then I read an article in the New York Times titles, U.S. Children: Generation Snack.

It states “we are raising a generation of snackers - kids who eat almost constantly throughout the day as they graze on cookies, salty snacks and fruit drinks.”

They found numbers that suggest “snacking has eroded meal time and that children are taking in slightly fewer calories during breakfast, lunch and dinner, when more healthful foods are typically served, because of their intense snacking habits.”

Oh, it’d be one thing if children were snacking on good foods.  Children are natural grazers, in fact.  But, no.  The article goes on to state, “Desserts like cookies and cakes remain the main source of snacking. Salty snacks like chips and pretzels have posted the biggest gains and are the second largest snack category. Candy and fruit drinks are also popular. One notable trend is that in the past few decades, fruit drinks have replaced whole fruit as a snack.”

Okay, maybe we are idiots.

I mean, how stupid does one have to be to eat frozen corn dogs and Little Debbies every day and then act surprised that they’re obese and diabetic? How ignorant are we that we feed our children sugary junk constantly, while still expecting their school performance to rise?

(Meanwhile, we take away their recess, and even if they do go outside, tell them they can’t run on a playground.)

I don’t know if more education is the answer though, at least in what I can only assume the education will be like.  The typical nutritionist in the U.S. still advises a low-fat, high-grain diet for children.  Sigh.

It just doesn’t seem like rocket science to me that children need whole foods (fruits, vegetables, whole grains), healthy fats and oils (real butter, raw whole milk, cheese, coconut and olive oil), seeds and nuts, and meat.  Salt should be real and unprocessed sea salt.

The Weston A. Price foundation has the best diet information that I know of.  Here’s a ton of articles specifically for children.

If you have no idea where to begin, Jamie Oliver’s own Ministry of Food isn’t half bad, either.

Another mom’s story of her family’s eating habit in Gradual Change.

Even if you’re the third generation of bad eating habits, there is a plethora of education, knowledge and resources at your fingertips.

There is no excuse.

Tags: children, health, idiocy, meals, raw milk

My daughter was past due for her three month vaccinations.  When I took her in, she got a shot in each leg, plus an oral polio.  They wanted to do another shot to “catch up” but I declined, agreeing to return in two weeks.

I had no idea at the time how huge that decision would turn out to be.

Within hours, my daughter changed.  I don’t know how else to describe it.  Her face was just… different.  She was crying different.  She was acting different.  Within twelve hours, she had a low grade temperature and an unexplainable rash.

I called my pediatrician and told her what was going on.  I told her she had just received her first round of vaccinations.  The doctor simply instructed me to  give her acetaminophen (Tylenol).  I already had, but I continued giving her a dose every four hours.

It didn’t help.

In fact, my daughter seemed increasingly distraught.  Within the next couple weeks, I must have called the pediatrician about half a dozen times.  She still had the fever.  She still had the rash.  She still acted funny.  The only change was that the rash would disappear and then show up again somewhere else.

“Something is wrong.” I insisted.  I kept mentioning the vaccinations, but the doctor always said it “couldn’t be that.”

So I did the only thing I knew what to do.  I Googled her symptoms.  I typed “child+fever+traveling rash+strange cry” and hit enter.

The first page was full of words like “immunization”, “reaction”, “emergency room”, “vaccinations”, and “adverse effects”.  I began to shake inside, sick with the knowledge that in doing what I believed was right, I may have done irreparable damage to my sweet baby girl.  She had all the signs of children experiencing more serious reactions to a vaccine.  What hit me like a punch to the gut was that she was having many of the signs of children who later slipped deeper into autism.

I called my pediatrician once again. When I told her what I suspected, I was met with silence.  She then repeated her mantra, “It couldn’t be that.”

“Why not?” I asked, completely dumbfounded.  “It all began the very day she had her shots.”

Silence.

“Have you changed your laundry detergent?”

So that’s where it was going.  Nowhere.  The doctor was faced with a child experiencing classic adverse reactions to a vaccine and all she could do was try to pin it on soap?  She refused to even discuss the possibility, refused to tell me why, and refused to report it.   Doctors are required by law to report adverse reactions, by the way.

And so began my journey into the world of no answers.  A place where emotions run high, opinions are deep, and deception is the name of the game.

I immediately began reading all I could on vaccinations.  I began, of course, with how to reverse adverse affects.  My daughter is completely normal now, thank God.  I don’t think she would be if she would have received that “just one more” shot that day or even weeks after.

The fact that parents vaccinate their children doesn’t bother me.  What concerns me is the idea many have that parents should not have a choice in the matter.  And what frustrates me is that those who administer vaccines do not make the information and education readily available for parents to be able to make that choice.

Oh, I’m not talking about the pretty colored sheets that they hand you when you go to get their shots.  Those are practically useless, and only lend credence to the claim that any information they do make available is extremely one sided.  And yes, the information is in large part one-sided.  I have no illusions that the medical field is looking out for my child’s best interest.

What about telling parents about things they could do to help prevent damage from vaccines?  Don’t confuse that with making the child more comfortable by administering Tylenol.  I’m referring to things like homeopathics and large quantities of Vitamin C.  (Oh, wait.  I forgot.  Those are just snake oil and voodoo.)

What about checking vaccine antibody levels (titers) instead of automatically giving booster shots that could very well be unnecessary?

What about warning parents that children who have siblings with diabetes may have an increased risk of adverse reaction to the MMR?

What about warning parents that children with digestive or gut issues may have an increased risk of an adverse vaccine reaction?  (It is my suspicion this is why my daughter experienced such a strong adverse reaction.  She had digestive issues and severe constipation since birth.  To which my pediatrician simply advised daily doses of corn syrup.  Yes, corn syrup.)

Why do they call them immunizations?

Why is it so difficult to find anyone who will administer just one or two desired vaccines?  Why is it so difficult to find a doctor who is willing to spread out the vaccines?  Why is the CDC schedule more revered than the responsibility to view each patient as an individual?

Why do they so often try to avoid giving a parent the Lot number for the vaccine?  Why isn’t this information given automatically, as part of administering the vaccine?

Why is the Hep B vaccine given to every newborn at birth, regardless of the baby’s risk of the disease?  Why is opting out of the vaccine so difficult even when it is clearly not necessary?  Why are parents who choose to do so treated like they are irresponsible?  Why does the waiver sheet in essence say the parents are admitting negligence?

And on and on and on.

There is so much more I could say, especially in light of recent “news”.  Another day, perhaps.

Tags: health, idiocy, vaccines

Having carried six healthy babies in my womb and experienced the joy of seeing them before birth via ultrasound, I can definitely say that yes, that figure in black and white squirming on the screen..

it certainly was a baby!

As a mother who has also held a baby in my hands that had died at about 12 weeks into the pregnancy… I can most assuredly tell you that

YES, it was a baby.

The following video speaks for itself. I have no words.

(you will have to click through to see the video)

Tags: baby, health, idiocy, miscarriage

A couple years ago, I published a natural childbirth article with a funny twist on Thanksgiving dinner.  I am reposting it below.  (I could no longer find a valid link to the original article.)

by Carolyn Keefe 
from Citizens for Midwifery News, Fall/Winter 2004

Thanksgiving is coming up, and I thought this would be a great opportunity to think about the normality of birth. We often say that birth is a normal physiological process, but its hard for most people to understand what that means. Comparisons to other normal physiological functions are valuable. Although some others more closely resemble birth, eating will work to illustrate how a normal function can be spoiled by over-zealous attempts to control it.

Of course, birth is a far more profound and rare experience. Also, in both cases, sometimes some people need help — when eating people can choke, have allergic reactions, have digestive disorders, and even need to bypass the whole process. But in both cases, most of the time, our bodies can perform the function more or less as designed.
Let’s imagine, then, consuming our Thanksgiving dinner under the same circumstances that most women in the US give birth:

Welcome to our humble establishment. We hope you enjoy sharing your special Thanksgiving Dinner with us. Well do our best to make your dinner a unique and memorable experience.

Our highly trained professional staff is among the best in business and will work to ensure your comfort, privacy, and safety while dining in our establishment, a state of the art facility. The home-like ambiance will help you relax, and you’ll appreciate the comfort of knowing that the operating room is right down the hall, should the need arise.

• First, you make the decision to leave home and go out to the “best” restaurant in town with the “best” chefs. This means leaving behind your children and most of your family, but you agree anyway.

• When you make your reservations, you are informed that consuming the meal will very likely be dangerous and difficult, so a surgeon will be supervising in case it becomes necessary to insert a tube.

• The restaurant insists that you arrive before Thanksgiving and get started on the meal early, so as not to miss the holiday.

• You are encouraged to change into appropriate clothes for eating, though they may be uncomfortable and make you feel self conscious.

• Before you can sit down to eat, you’re hooked up to an IV and wires to monitor your progress with swallowing and digestion, just in case emergency surgery is needed.

• As you eat, various medical personnel hover, looking in your mouth periodically — sometimes in mid-chew — to make sure you’re progressing well.

• At the first sign of displeasure or difficulty, you’re offered seasonings to mask the flavor and the meal is pureed to make it easier to swallow.

• If you aren’t eating quickly enough, the surgeon comes in to give you something to improve your appetite and tells you that the tube will need to be inserted if you don’t finish soon.

• When the moment you’ve been waiting for finally comes, the surgeon performs a procedure to expedite the process.

• When the meal is all over, everyone tells you that are lucky to have finished it alive, with your entire family intact. After all, such unpleasantness is the price we pay for eating safely.

• Even if you are able to complete the meal under these circumstances, any complaints you might have are dismissed as ingratitude. You learn to not discuss it and accept that you will be expected to undergo exactly the same experience for each Thanksgiving dinner.

Of course, birthing women are in a far more heightened state of awareness. They are extremely vulnerable to stimuli, which can have a profound effect on their ability to function well under such circumstances and on their perceptions of the experience later.
If the meal described above seems unpleasant, imagine how difficult giving birth under such circumstances must be. That so many women do it successfully with a minimum of negative effects is remarkable. Then again, many do not. Small wonder.

Happy Thanksgiving and Bon Appétit!

Tags: baby, health, idiocy, medicine

If you’re not on Facebook, you’re missing all the excitement happening with The Flint Crepe Company.

After only a day and a half of selling crepes from a mobile cart under their belt, the city gave them a letter informing them they’re in violation of a zoning ordinance.  Fans and customers are watching with great interest to see if Flint is truly “open for business”.

Flint Crepe Company plans to remain open as long as possible, and is looking at alternatives.

Kinda reminds me of a recent chicken hullabaloo…

Tags: idiocy