There’s something funny that happens when one’s heart is changed.

(Not funny as in haha.  Funny as in interesting or weird.)

God is constantly molding me.  He’s given me different interests and desires than what I once knew.  He’s stretched me in some areas while allowing me to flourish in others.

And lately, I’ve been especially aware of how there has been a change in the way I see people.

I want to start out by admitting that when I first meet someone, I tend to make a really quick assessment.  I just get a vibe one way or another.  It’s not intentional, and it’s not even a conscious act most of the time.  It just is.

But.  I also attempt to take that first assessment and just file it away in the back storage areas of my mind.  It’s basically used to make practical decisions like how far I should trust that person, or how much info I should divulge about myself, or how many grains of salt I should add to whatever they say.  Stuff like that.

Regardless of the file that was stored, there is a genuine effort to treat the person lovingly and respectfully.  One can maintain common-sense boundaries and still be caring.

And yet, there is something that has changed in my filing process.

I don’t just make note of the nice manicure and new clothes.   I see the yearning for acceptance.  I don’t just hear small talk about the weather.  I also hear the unspoken but unmistakable plea for love.

Yeah, the world is full of beautiful, involved, and busy people.  But when you look closer, you notice that they are also limping, diseased and in pain.  So much pain.

He can’t stand his wife.  She longs for a husband.  He doesn’t want to be around his children.  She loves her son.  He is sick of pretending.  She wants a divorce.  He’s going to lose his job.  She is tired of waiting.  He just wants to drown the sorrow.  She just wants to dance the sorrow away.  He wants to forget for just a little while.  She only knows significance by turning his head.  He resorts to foul language to hide his insecurities.  She talks dirty to make believe her heart isn’t breaking.

It goes on and on and on.

It’s easy to despise people who look so good on the outside.  They seem to have it all together.  They smile a lot.  They also talk about themselves a lot.

It’s easy to overlook their real condition.  Now I just want them to know the Great Physician.  The one who heals the scars on our hearts with the scars on His hands.

But there’s something else I have to admit.

When He opens the eyes of my heart to see their sores and soul-cancer, I cringe and want to look away.  I don’t want to help.  I know that change and healing involves tears and time.  So much time.  I want to remain in my safe, comfortable place where I am overwhelmed enough with my own crap.  How can He expect me to reach out when my hands feel tied with everything that I need healing from?

And then, He reminds me.  Yes, it is He who heals.  But it is His body, His people, who are to be His hands.

It’s not my effort.

I just need to be willing to be used.

Tags: Christianity, spirituality