Those who know us are aware of our practice of having an open home. I don’t mean open in the sense that we’re willing and able to have people over. I mean truly open, in that our home is your home.

What this translates to is the regular presence of one or two non-immediate family members in our house, and often having large numbers for meals.  People are eating, preparing food, cleaning up, talking, playing music, or playing outside.  It is a whirlwind of motion and events happening simultaneously and somewhat haphazardly.

I love it.

This confuses some people.  They come over expecting me to wait on them, dazzle them with my hostess skills, and basically turn cartwheels in my efforts to please them.  They are severely disappointed.

More than likely, if they bring a watermelon, they’ll be given a cutting board and pointed in the general direction of the knives.

If they ask what they can bring, they’ll (gasp) be told what they can bring.

If they ask for more of the fast-disappearing cookies, they’ll be dismayed to learn that it’s kind of a wysiwyg (what you see is what you get) system, and once stuff is gone, it’s gone.  If they’re really bent out of shape about not us not having something, enough of something, or even the correct kind of something, they can expect to be told they’re welcome to bring it themselves next time.

If they want more of whatever it is I just put away, they’ll simply be told where they can find it.

If they drink coffee on a regular basis, they’ll probably be taught how to work the coffee maker so that they can help themselves.

Does that sound rude?

Perhaps some of the confusion comes from the standard belief that waiting on people is showing respect and care.  I dare say it just might mean that one views possessions as “theirs”, clasped tightly in their fist of ownership, only meant to be loaned to people who are worthy of such an honor.

Bah.

There are certain times that I do place emphasis on being a super-gracious hostess, but truth be told, if I always operated under that model it would put a serious damper on the number of people and times we opened our home.  It would definitely be more of a burden.  Instead, I lean towards a what’s-mine-is-yours attitude.  If you’re thirsty, get a drink of water.  I’ll show you where we keep “your” glasses.

Feel free to put it in “your” dishwasher when you’re done, too.

Tags: homelife, hospitality