A friend has been asking me to give her a list of what I have on hand to care for normal childhood ailments.  It’s a common topic among moms, so I’ll post it here for all.  Please share anything that you would add!

Essential Oils

• Lavender - stops bleeding, helps burns. Use topically.
• Melrose and/or Purification blends - antiseptic and antifungal.  Purification also helps soothe mosquito bites and bee stings. Use topically.
• Peppermint - A bit (less than a drop. I usually use a toothpick.) in some water helps soothe an upset tummy.  Apply on feet to ease a fever.  A dab on the back of the neck will help a headache.  A drop in a spoonful of honey may help a cough.
• Thieves blend - Apply on feet and along spine to help fight colds and flus.

Homeopathy

• Children’s Cough & Bronchial Syrup, by Boericke & Tafel
• Cough Syrup with Honey, by Hyland’s
• Sniffles & Sneezes 4 Kids, by Hyland’s
• Earache Tablets, by Hyland’s
• Complete Flu Care 4 Kids, by Hyland’s
• C-Plus Cold Tablets, by Hyland’s
• Teething Tablets, by Hyland’s
• Ear drops by Similasan
• Allergy Eyes by Similasan

Other

• colloidal silver - Take about 1/2 to 1 teaspoon orally twice a day as an antibiotic.
• rubbing alcohol - a drop in each ear after swimming prevents swimmer’s ear, a painful ear infection.
• Animal Scents Ointment, by YoungLiving - the best antibiotic ointment I know of.

I know there’s stuff I’m forgetting, but these are probably the items I use the most.

You can find most of the homeopathics at health stores, or online at places like Vitacost.  They are very affordable.

The oils I use aren’t usually available in stores.  If you live close by, I usually have oils for purchase, or I can help you buy them online.

Tags: children, health, medicine

Just recently, for close to four weeks I eliminated all sugar and gluten (grains, flour, etc) from my diet. My cravings were minimal and I enjoyed feeling my system regain balance. I was also able to recognize something I hadn’t before, at least on this level.

I already mentioned that I really didn’t struggle too much with cravings.  Sure, here and there I would want something that would take a bit of self-control and willpower to say no to, but for the most part it went pretty smoothly.

Until one evening.

Some stresses had been building up for the past few days, and on this particular evening I was feeling discouraged and very frustrated.  And suddenly, I was craving chocolate.  Ice cream.  Wine.  You name it, I wanted it.

I managed to not succumb to the temptations that were threatening, but it dawned on me how much food can be a crutch.  Or something we use to comfort ourselves. Or reward ourselves.  Or numb ourselves.  We feel a bit stressed or put under pressure, and it’s just knee-jerk to use food or drink for consolation.

I don’t think most of us are concerned about this.  So what, right?  Except when we turn to cookies, we probably aren’t turning to God who would love to have us bring our struggles to him in prayer.  We probably aren’t even turning to friends, which is also what God has provided for comfort, encouragement and counsel.

What’s worse is we end up subconsciously teaching our children this habit.  Lose a game?  Let’s all go out for ice cream.  Celebrating a birthday?  Let’s binge on fluorescent cake and chemicals labeled as candy.  Get all A’s?  Let’s splurge on sugary junk.

Our children get the message loud and clear.  Food, particularly the completely non-nourishing, disease-causing kind, is the perfect reward, comforter, and joy.

What if food was just food?  What if, when I did want to indulge, I based my choices on thoughtful consideration instead of ingrained habit?  What if I only enjoyed a piece of chocolate or a glass of wine when I simply wanted to revel in it’s taste?  What if I celebrated birthdays with fresh strawberries and real whipped cream?  What if a treat could be one hearty homemade cookie?

This has been a long, gradual change in our home, one that I often let slip and (even more frustrating) one that is constantly undermined by our culture’s mindless traditions and foolish patterns.   I’m trying hard to instill in my children a different way of viewing food.

But first I have to view it differently myself.

Tags: health, meals, parenting, presuppositions, worldview

For hurting spouses, what forgiveness is in marriage.

Tags: Christianity, marriage

James MacDonald talks about what the Bible says about marriage.

Tags: Christianity, marriage

My son is rude.

He’s only four, and you might say that he’s just forthright and painfully honest.  You’d be right.

Yes, he is young.  Yes, the things he says that make me cringe are true to him.  But they’re still rude.

Navigating him through this has been tricky.  I value honesty.  I value authenticity.  I would rather myself and my children be respected than liked, so I do think it’s okay to communicate unpopular and sometimes difficult truths.

But I also don’t think it’s okay to go around spouting whatever you want, simply because it’s true.

I don’t have much respect for people who take pride in saying whatever is on their mind in any situation.  What’s so hard about that?

(And the ironic thing is, they are the ones who often have the hardest time accepting honest comments, and take offense the most.)

So what’s the difference between acceptable honesty and rudeness?

I think it’s motive.  Intent.

There have been times where I’ve felt moved to be very frank.  One may need to be bluntly honest when the speaker truly loves the hearer, or feels the need to resort to clear, exact speech to articulate the seriousness and reality of something.

In cases where honesty is profitable, the candid speech is meant to benefit the hearer.

That’s a far cry from simply saying an offhand “honest” remark to make a point, put someone in their place, or to just feel better about oneself.  If I have to claim “I’m just being honest” instead of “I’m saying this because I love you” I just may have the wrong motivation for sounding off.

Ah, but we were talking about a four-year-old.

For now, we’re just sticking to a “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing” rule.

Tags: children, parenting, worldview

A friend recently brought up a subject that is often on my mind.

It’s this idea that it’s unfair to expect our children to help out with “grown-up” or “parental” responsibilities.  Things like laundry, meals, or watching their siblings.

If I were to answer this really bluntly, I’d say that this view comes as a result of our consumeristic, individual-idolizing, selfish, culture.

Okay.

If I were to try and politely articulate why I disagreed with it, I might say that I think this opinion comes from the belief that we each have specific “jobs” that are drudgery and meaningless, instead of viewing life as a series of opportunities that entail dedication and determination.

You’d probably look at me cross-eyed and wonder what that had to do with anything.

So I might say that we tend to view work as a bad thing, instead of having the perspective that even monotonous, repeated chores offer a reason to be thankful.  Making meals and washing dishes can translate to gratefulness that we have food to prepare. Caring for siblings can bring a sense of belonging and appreciation that one is a part of a family.

You might say that’s too pie-in-the-sky thinking.

I’d say that the root problem is how we tend to view family, homes and, most of all, housewives incorrectly.

I’d probably answer with bringing up how “good” parents only push their children when it comes to the gods of academics or sports, but imagining that our kids should be expected to be an active, engaged, useful, meaningful part of a family and household dynamic is just too much to presume.

Whatever.

Ultimately, our children will likely follow our lead.

If we tend to view babies and young children as inconvenient and irritating, so will they.  If we are ungrateful for the blessings we have and resent our responsibility to steward them, they will too.  If we put ourselves first and our preferences above the needs of others, they will mimic that.

The good news?

If we have the outlook that a family is significant, that all parts, large and small, are relevant, that by working together and depending on one another means we can do and be more, and that life is ripe with possibilities, then, praise God, they will too!

Tags: family, homelife, idiocy, parenting

The other day, I wrote about married couples loving each other with a servant’s love.

I’ve been thinking about this further, especially as it pertains to stay-at-home moms.

In our home, I have learned that flexibility is a necessary trait to have as a wife.  For instance, it is not unusual for suppertime to be anywhere between 5 pm to 9 pm.  It’s not as if Robb punches a time clock, ensuring he arrives home at the same time each day.  Some weeks he works thirty hours.  Other weeks he’s away for sixty.

My job is to create a place that is a haven for him to return to.  Sometimes that means having to eat without him if it’s too late for the children to wait, but then making/reheating a meal when he does arrive.  It means greeting him with a smile.  It means allowing him the time to unwind.

It is not my job to call him twenty times, wondering where he is.  It is not my job to stew and fret about dinner getting cold.  It is not my job to feel sorry for myself, allowing the loneliness of the evening and the frustration of caring for tired/hungry young children to steal my joy.

Growing up, I was blessed with the example of my mother in this area.  My Dad owns a business, and the hours can be long and irregular.  She did what she could to provide a happy, family environment for us all.  Dad may have come home tired and late, the phone may have rang off the hook during supper, and we may have had to change plans to accommodate his work, but what I remember is laughing and talking around the table and Mom and Dad’s affection with us and each other.  Because she was flexible.

I thought of that often when Robb and I first married.  I was home alone most of the day, as my college classes had not started yet.  Robb worked from about 6 am to 11 pm.  When he was home, he mostly slept from pure exhaustion.  I had to learn how to fill my time, be content with the little time we did have together, and (yes, you guessed it) learn to be flexible.

So many young wives were raised in homes with fathers who had extremely regular working hours, or even very few working hours.  They are accustomed to a home life in which the husband/father is often home, and always on time.

But those times are fast disappearing.  People must often work harder and longer, for less money.  If a wife is not used to this lifestyle, it can be difficult for her to adapt to.

Oh, I know all too well how caring for young children can be emotionally and physically draining, and how a SAHM can yearn for the sound of his vehicle in the driveway, signaling a break in the long day!  I also know how difficult it is when those hours stretch into seemingly unending days when he works late.  If she is not careful, she will add to her husband’s burden by complaining, stressing how difficult it is for her, and questioning his abilities, competency, and even integrity.

Be flexible.  It’s one of the best gifts we can give our spouse.

Tags: homelife, marriage

Newlyweds.

That word conjures up a lot of emotions.  Maybe for some they’re along the lines of bliss, excitement, newness, and romance.  Sometimes, it would be more correct to use words like confusion, shyness, disappointment, and hurt.

Whatever your experience, it always includes learning.

The first couple weeks, even years, of a wedded couple are spent learning about each other.  Even if you knew a person well, there will still be more, more than you ever imagined, to learn about them.

There can be a lot of expectations and hope tied up in the idea of marriage.  In some ways, the reality is better than we had imagined it would be.   In other ways, it is a huge letdown.  She never imagined picking up his dirty underwear and damp towel off the floor every single day.  He never imagined that she would ignore his intimate advances.

In a series of teachings through the Song of Solomon, The Peasant Princess, Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Church in Seattle talks about the first seven years of marriage being the most difficult.  He makes the point that it is due to the fact that each is learning how to love with a servant’s love.

See, we tend to love each other with a selfish love.  It’s easy to say you don’t do this, but examine yourself for a minute.

Are your feelings toward your spouse affected greatly by their level of appreciation or affection?  When they display irritation or anger, how do you respond?  Do you expect certain responses when you do something extra kind for them?  Do you withhold love, respect, affection, intimacy, etc if you feel they haven’t ‘deserved’ it?

The Bible instructs believers to love with a servant’s love.  For wives to respect their husbands even when they haven’t acted worthy of respect.  For husbands to love their wives even when she is unloving.

During the first several years of marriage, couples dance around each other in a sometimes thrilling, sometimes raging song, while they take turns giving and taking, hurting and forgiving.

Some couples never get past this time, and the wounds given and received during battles fester and seek to infect the marriage.

Even when couples do take the lessons learned to heart, finding what it means to love as a servant, every once in a while the selfish side in each of us threatens to undo the loving ties that bind our hearts together.

I know from talking with friends and from personal experience that we wives are the ones who tend to expect too much from our unsuspecting husbands.  We want him to be our everything, from a listening ear to a fun shopping companion.  We want him to romance us and take out the garbage without being asked.  We want him to hurry  home to us each day full of the anticipation of spending time with us, hanging on our every word.

He may or may not do those things.  The problem is, when we feel our needs aren’t met do we become resentful and bitter?  Do we question whether we made a mistake to marry such a man?  Do we become demanding or fall back on the silent treatment method?

Loneliness is not a stranger to a wife. (This seems to be especially felt if she never lived on her own, and if she stays home during the day.)  Wives, don’t allow loneliness to eat away at you, and your marriage.  Seek to fill your time wisely and purposefully.  Expecting your husband to meet all of your emotional needs is a recipe for disappointment.  As you become confidant in your own role, he will appreciatively admire you, sighing with relief as the burden for providing your happiness is lifted off his shoulders.

As for husbands, I think if you knew how deeply your words and responses affect the heart of your young wife, you would be very careful to treat her tenderly and lovingly.  Yes, we tend to take offense where none is meant.  Yes, we misunderstand the ways in which males handle pressure, passion, and pain. But the fact remains that you are to be her protector.  That makes it all the more painful when you are the source of the sorrow.

You may realize you’ve caused hurt and then apologize, but trust may have been broken.  Although she may forgive you with all her heart, there is time required before that trust is fully restored.

Seek to know, understand and honor your wife - To live with her in understanding, as the Bible states it.  Be patient with her, pray with her, and take note of what brings her joy.

And you can both enjoy learning what it means to love with a servant’s love!

Tags: marriage

Hope you enjoyed your holiday weekend!  Let’s revisit an older post..

Whenever Robb and I move, the change is pretty significant.  Each time there are people who are excited for us and share in our enthusiasm, and some who are disappointed and ask us why.

And every time, I am asked time and time again if I miss what we left behind.  My answer is usually the same.  Some aspects I’ll miss, and others I won’t.

It’s as if they don’t believe a certain ancient author when he stated so wisely after he had tried everything under the sun, “All is vanity.”

Some said we had it all when we had all new furniture, Corvette, Camaro, jet skis and snowmobiles.  (It could just as easily be said that we really screwed up when we got in over our heads and up to our ears in debt, stuck in the snobbery and mediocrity of subdivided neighborhoods.)

What about when we had a theme bedroom for our two children - the ideal size of one boy and one girl?  (We got some furrowed eyebrows when we shared the news baby number three was on her way.)

Then some celebrated when we changed everything and moved to an older home with 2 large gardens and a small hobby farm.  (The flip side: I was going to run myself ragged trying to be Holly Homemaker - tsk tsk.)

And, oh, when we moved to a cozy cabin on acreage, complete with wood heat… We were living some people’s lifelong dream, while others had CPS on speed dial, sure we were going to spend the winter huddling in the dirt sipping on cold gruel.

Then the lake house.  Ironically, the same people who had expressed grave concern over moving TO the farm, now thought we were insensitive meanies dragging our children AWAY from their beloved animals.  Depending on the person, the lake was either a fun-filled adventure, or a gaping mouth of death.

So what about now, in a large craftsman made ‘mansion’?  To hear others tell the story, it’s either we’re enjoying a once-in-a-lifetime adventure, or we’re yet again proving our insanity.  To some it’s a big mistake, fraught with risk and too much work, while to others it’s a wonderful opportunity.

The point is, they all have their blessings and their downsides.  We enjoy the lessons, without getting bogged down too much by the notion that the place is the answer.

Maybe, if you can’t be happy where you are, you probably won’t be happy anywhere else either.  And if you’re simply content where you are now, then even if you ended up changing everything, you’d probably be just as satisfied.

Tags: farm, homelife, presuppositions