Okay, so here’s a bit of news from the Klaty household…  we’re beginning the process of adoption.

Aaaaaand, also becoming licensed to foster.

I wasn’t going to write about it, partly because everyone already thinks we’re crazy, but mainly because I didn’t want anyone to think I was writing about to receive any sort of accolades.  Which is dumb, since that could be said about almost every topic I write about.  I’m just going to have to trust you to see it for what it is; writing from my heart and sharing what’s on my mind.

And then there’s the fact that Saturday, during our weekly breakfast date, I was ranting to Robb about the frustrations I’ve already encountered (and we’ve barely begun this adoption journey) and he just looked at me and said, “You should be blogging about this.”

What he was really saying was, “Blogging has always been a healthy outlet for you so please make full use of that so you don’t drive me crazy and Iloveyoukaythx.”

So to bring you all up to speed, we’ve gotten as far as talking to a few friends who have gone through the adoption/foster care process already, attending one informational meeting at a local private agency (at which we received a packet of paperwork that weighed no less than 50 pounds), buying “Adoption for Dummies” (no joke), and looking into going directly through the Department of Human Services (DHS).

Oh, and praying like crazy for direction and wisdom.

This is what I’ve learned already.  This is going to be a very slow, frustrating, and long process.  Take, for instance, my experience with the Michigan DHS.  After searching on the internet for any information, I called the local office here in Flint.  The woman who answered the phone was abrupt, condescending and confusing.  Each inquiry I made was met with ridicule, as if it was something I should already know, and she basically just wanted to mail me a packet so she could get off the phone.

A couple days later the “packet” arrived in the mail.  This oh so helpful “packet” is two sheets of paper containing the schedule of classes we need to take to become licensed foster parents.  Now, I consider myself fairly adept (I don’t run into walls very often and haven’t poked my own eye in at least a week) but this schedule makes absolutely no sense.  And if the information wasn’t vague enough, the facts change from one paragraph to another, making the whole “packet” completely useless.

Oh, how I’m dreading calling the office again.

I’ve given this journey it’s very own “Adoption” Category so you can follow along at your convenience.  Settle in, because I’m told licensing takes at least six months to a year, and then a family can wait for who knows how long before getting a call that there is a waiting child.

Feel free to ask any questions.  I’ll list some details below, but like I said, we’re only just beginning so we’re bound to be changing our minds on some things.

• We’re wanting to adopt locally.
• At this time, our restrictions are age (under three years) and no severe medical or physical handicaps.  At this point, with so much of our energy being poured into the community, church, and our own six children, it just wouldn’t be wise to stretch ourselves any thinner.  I say no “severe” handicaps because sometimes ADHD and learning disabilities are classified as mental handicaps, but we would be open to adopting a child under those circumstances.
• Fostering in situations where the child is not likely to return to their birth family.  Ultimately, we are desiring to adopt.

Tags: Adoption

How does one be in the world, but not of it?  How does one bear the mark of Christ?  How does one be a light, a city on a hill?  How does one reach out to the lost?  How does one keep from stumbling a brother?

In the lives of those who believe in the saving blood of Jesus Christ, in other words, Christians, there is a vastness of opinions and convictions answering the above questions.

Some earmark verses that justify distancing themselves from society and especially any unbelievers.   Some of the more popular ones are; We are to be a separate people, one cannot serve two masters, and we are not of the world.

It’s true that it is all too easy to dissolve into the surroundings until there is no distinction between one’s biblical beliefs and the world’s standards.

Yet all too often the attempt to stand strong morphs into upholding some person’s idea as God’s standard of living.  One hears something, it sounds good, the speaker has a couple verses that seem to back up what they’re saying, and BAM! You have a “biblical” mandate.

Why is it so easy to do this?  I think its because its easier to stick to a list of don’ts than to live honestly within biblical principals.  There is that Pharisee in us that actually wants to add to the Bible, making convictions and principals into laws and mandates, because it controls our passions and tendencies.

Or maybe its because we love to love… ourselves.

It is true that we can learn a lot through others.  There is much to glean from those through the ages who have attempted in many ways to live out the Bible.  But what do we do? One Christian will uphold one and scoff at another, while a different Christian will reverse the order.  Why?  Because there is always something they did that justifies either copying their lives or rejecting them entirely.  The Pilgrims sailed the ocean so they could freely serve God.  They also drank alcohol.  As did Calvin.  Luther poked holes in the Church’s bubble, insisting on returning to what Scripture really said and upholding God’s grace.  He also questioned the book of James, since it says faith without works is dead.  C.S Lewis touches the lives of many through his writings even today.  He also smoked a pipe.  Charles Spurgeon has spurred other believers’ faith through his writings and sermons.  He also smoked cigars.

Perhaps they had it right, though.  They didn’t waste their energies defending what they most certainly would have to defend in this day.  They loved God with their whole hearts, and their lives were consumed with that passion.  But can you imagine them attempting to speak at or attend many churches today?  The shocked cries would drown out their message.  Because Christianity today often simply means “we do not do this” or “we do this.”

Where is Christ in all of this?  Where is the winebibber and friend of publicans and sinners?  (Yes, I left out glutton, since that seems to be acceptable now.  Drinking wine for communion is a stumbling block and offense, but how many potlucks have you been to recently that decide to forgo the desserts to help those struggling with weight or diet issues?   In my experience, the dessert table is twice as big.)

It must be possible to be a friend of unbelievers, since that is exactly what Jesus was.  Not what Jesus did.  Was.  Once again, he didn’t give us a list of do’s and don’ts that we could check off with our little red pens.  Just a principal, along with an example.  He lived it out.  It was his heart.

If we truly have a balance in how we live out our beliefs, some will think we are too religious and others will think we are a bit too worldly.  Jesus spoke some pretty harsh words of truth that some just couldn’t accept.  Not afraid to speak honestly and plainly, he was a threat to many.  Wasn’t he just a bit too strict about being the only way?  Sounds a little too Christian.  Oh, but others saw him eating and drinking with the untouchables, attending parties and breaking religious laws.  Wasn’t he just a bit too unholy?  Sounds a little worldly.

What speaks more loudly to people?  Is it my long list of don’ts?  Or is it the way I treat others through love and service, the love I have for the Word along with the sincerity to apply it, and the honesty with which I view my flaws and weaknesses?

Let us hold fast in faith and love so that we can encourage fellow believers.
AND let us put on our armor so that we can wine and dine with ‘publicans and sinners’.

Tags: Christianity, religion, spirituality, worldview

On what basis do you make choices?

We all have a standard.  We all have a starting point at which we begin when weighing the options before us.  We all have a lens through which we view the world.

What’s yours?

Generally speaking, I think perhaps the most common answers would be morality, how it may affect others, or how it would affect our self.  Of course, there are also many who would claim the Bible as their basis.

Yet, I think they all really boil down to one issue.  Our happiness.

Oh, how we insist on being happy!

An agnostic who claims that they follow social moral codes; isn’t that about doing what pleases others so that they can live peaceably and happily?  (Never mind the question of where the social morality comes from and what it’s based on!)

All who claim to be concerned about others and relationships first and foremost; isn’t that really the same as the agnostic?  Making decisions that result in harmony and love with others so that we can be happy?

Christians who claim to follow what the Bible teaches grapple with teachings and concepts that seem to ignore our happiness.  It doesn’t really mean that.  It couldn’t.  Why?  Because we believe that following that would make us unhappy.

And isn’t that what God desires for us more than anything?  To be happy?

Um, no.

Very clearly and absolutely.  NO.

What God does desire is holiness.

Imagine if we really used holiness as the standard to base every decision on.  Think of the huge strides we would make in our closeness to Him if we were more concerned with being holy than with being happy.

It may mean doing something really hard and uncomfortable.  Or, it may mean not doing something that we really, really want.

It may mean a heartbreak.

It’s not mean.  It’s freeing.  Happiness is nothing but passing fancies, changing moods and fleeting desires.

But holiness… Ah, now that sets us free from ourselves and all the rot, decay and mold of our inner self that whispers sweetly while breathing death.

God has never promised happiness to those who serve and love him.  He doesn’t need to.  When just a shadow of the true radiance of the riches of His glory is sensed, when we catch just a fraction of understanding of the great depth of His grace towards us, we cannot help but cast everything at His feet in gratitude.

And then we are content no longer with mere happiness.  No, we shake off the devastating lie of Happiness’ lure, leaving it lying in the mud along with the filth of our personal plans, selfish dreams and lofty opinions.

For we have tasted His joy.

Tags: Christianity, presuppositions, spirituality, worldview

I love simplicity.  There is a beauty to things basic and pure.  There is a sense of wholesomeness, of comfort.  I like its unpretentious existence.  I like how it brings a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

I love extravagance.  There is a beauty to things gourmet and lovely.  There is a sense of indulgence, of enjoyment.  I like its pleasurable luxury.  I like how it brings a sense of delight and fun.

Simplicity is overrated.  It often translates into harder, longer, or slower.  It may mean wasted time and energy.  It’s usually inefficient and uneconomical.  It doesn’t even really make sense.

Extravagance is overrated.  It often translates into costlier, lengthier, or slower.  It may mean wasted time and money.  It’s usually mindless and uneconomical.  It doesn’t even really make sense.

It’s a paradox.

We did the back-to-basic lifestyle at the farm and enjoyed many aspects of it.  I believe it offered opportunities that were needed for us, our children, and our family as a whole.  Through being mindfully simple, we experienced things that we wouldn’t have otherwise, such as cooking on a wood stove.

But we also enjoy bounty.  The blessing of living here in this old ‘mansion’ is also very appreciated.  It’s made some wonderful things possible, like being able to open our home like never before.

We love farms and the country side, and take great delight in old treasures.  Yet we also enjoy big cities and eclectic college towns.  Rolling pastures and city lights each have their own, unique kind of beauty.    900 square feet with a sawdust toilet or thousands of square feet with leaded glass windows.  Daisies in a mason jar are pretty, and yellow roses in a crystal vase are beautiful.  Get my drift?

The problem is that most of us tend towards one, and then end up rejecting the other.  When simplicity is romanticized, trendy things are ridiculed.  When indulgence is embraced, basic things are looked down at.  It’s as if we get in one mindset and suddenly fail to appreciate the benefits of the other.  It’s not either-or, just my-way-or-the-highway.

The way I see it is we have this funny way of getting tunnel vision.  If we start choosing to live a bit more down-to-earth and adapt a minimal lifestyle, it tends toward a self-righteous, “I’m so pure and wholesome” attitude. It’s not enough to quietly enjoy the blessings of a plain life. We begin to think everyone should sew their own clothes or grow their own wheat.

On the flip side, if we choose to live a bit more excessively, it tends toward a condescending, “Who do they think they are, Amish?!” attitude.  We begin to think we actually deserve the excessive things we purchase, and do not know if we could function without them.

Why do lifestyle choices affect us this way?  I believe it is because we have a choice.  If we all lived identically and knew no other way, there would be no reason to compare or see any nobleness in how we were living.  It would just be the way things were.

But, most of do choose, and it is the thought-processes, worldview, and experiences that direct those choices that ultimately cause us to believe the choice itself proves we are “better”.  Better person, better neighbor, better citizen, better than what we were before.  It only stands to reason that if believe in our own hearts that our lifestyle choices made us better, if everyone else did the same thing, they’d be better, too.

Of course, most people would read that and think, “I don’t do that.”  Think about it.  Be honest.  I think we all do to a certain extent.  Family A turns from a nice home and well-paying but stressful job to move to a fixer-upper in the country.  They feel closer as a family, life slows down enough for them to feel like they can actually enjoy it, and they experience a deeper satisfaction through working close to creation and the seasons.  Eventually though, a changed personal view of what is most important morphs into a judgment against those who still live the way they once did.

Family B rises from a menial, just scraping by existence, to a comfortable income.  They enjoy not having to worry about paying the bills every week, take more relaxing vacations where they can just enjoy being together, and splurge on remodeling.  Slowly their enjoyable life causes them to look at those who live simply with suspicion and ridicule.  Forgetting all the little things they themselves once enjoyed, they only feel condemnation for living the good life.

It’s not just the ability that we have to choose our lifestyle that gives us bad attitudes, though.  Some of the opinions held against simple or extravagant are justified.  Those who tend to live more simply ease into such a relaxed state that they no longer see their own untidiness, even sloppiness.  Also, they often tend to be more recluse and cut-off from the society at large, except for perhaps close friends and family and fellow church members, and therefore have no impact on anything except their own little box they’ve built around themselves.

In the same vein, those who tend to live more extravagantly usually get there by digging themselves deeply into debt.  They add even more to the red dollar signs by getting sucked in to the frivolous expenditures that they now see as necessities.  Perhaps their families tend to grow apart, as each is busy with their own pursuits.

(But I don’t choose, some may say. I’m just stuck in this lifestyle situation that fate dealt me.  Well, you still choose how you respond to your situation.  It still applies.)

So here is the crux of the matter.  Neither lifestyle means anything.  You have to choose something, so do it.  But don’t for one second think that it will really denote anything of significance.  Let me give you two extreme examples of both sides.

Gandhi.  Everyone recognizes that name.  For some people, they envision a strange little man with crazy ideas.  Others view him with varying degrees of awe.  Whatever your opinion of him, he had a huge impact on the entire world, especially through the extreme simplicity he attempted to live by.  Once quite well off, even working as a lawyer, he sold everything and gave it to the poor.  Over the years, he pared down his living essentials to include what he could carry in a small sack, a pocket watch, and sometimes a goat, for milk of course! He wore a scratchy loincloth, even when visiting lofty world leaders and kings.  He ate only plain, mostly tasteless foods, and often fasted for days.  He defined ascetic living.

Why did he do this?  I think most would be surprised to learn that it was Jesus’ teachings that motivated him the most.  He attempted to live exactly what Jesus preached during what is known as “Sermon on the Mount”.  (Christians, you would do good to heed why a man who modeled his life after the teachings of Jesus deliberately chose to stay outside the “Christian” religion as such.)

His love for the poor and underprivileged (he didn’t just “reach out” with superficial compassion, he actually lived among them and cared for them with own hands), his daily spiritual habits and health regimes, his methods for political change and techniques against civil disobedience; They all affected personal individuals, countless groups of people, powerful governments, and entire nations.  Yet, his personal writings reveal a life of struggle, dissatisfaction and a never-ending search for further pureness.

The extreme example of the opposing side: King Solomon.  I think most recognize that name, too.  Perhaps the richest, wisest, and most powerful king who ever lived, Solomon experienced luxury and decadence to the extreme.  A quick read through Ecclesiastes testifies of all the palaces and possessions he owned.  Yet, mixed throughout his descriptions of opulence are laments of realization.  Everything is vanity.  Meaningless.  Absurd.  Useless.  He searched for the utmost wisdom and concluded that “In much wisdom is much grief: and he that increases knowledge increases sorrow”.  Ecc 1:18   He gathered great wealth and indulged every desire, yet looked at it all in the end and said, “All was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun.”  Ecc 2:11

“Well, of course” you answer.  “We all know that money can’t buy happiness.”  Is that all he’s saying, though?  Do we really think it’s that simple?  Interspersed throughout his writing are things like “A feast is made for laughter, and wine makes merry: but money answers all things.” (Ecc 10:19)  And what about 9:7, “Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepts thy works” and Chapter 2:11 where it reads, “There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labor.  This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.”

How do you marry seemingly contradictory ideas of enjoyment and vanity?

I think he touches upon a really powerful thought when he says, “Folly is set in great dignity, and the rich sit in low places.” (10:6).  He mentions often that death happens to all, and that a foolish man will gain the wiser man’s riches.  It’s not fair.  It’s not comforting to our tidy beliefs about how the world should work.  (And it seems in direct contradiction to the Proverb’s teachings that wisdom and righteousness equals reward and blessing, but that’s another topic!)  Even if you have years of happiness, don’t forget the many days of sorrow. (11:8)  Rain falls on the righteous man as well as the evil one, and we are all dust anyways, so deal with it, he seems to say.

So why bother with anything? you might reply in sarcasm.

One can sow seed and have no idea whether it will bring harvest, but you still have to do it. (11:6)  We are here on this earth to do, to live, to be.  The seeming contradiction of labor profiting nothing is answered by “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, where you are going.” (9:10).

In other words, it really doesn’t make a difference in the precise thing.  You can live extravagantly and miss true enjoyment, and live simply only to miss real wholesomeness.  We tend to focus on the what and how, instead of realizing that significance doesn’t come from any of those things.  They are only our frail attempts at representing what is in our heart and minds.  They are little pictures of our yearnings and what we treasure most.  But they cannot take the place of it.  We think we understand it, but then end up implying that by living a certain way we will benefit our soul.

It’s a constant tension.

A constant tension between acting out our beliefs and understanding that it doesn’t make us worthy of anything, between choosing something meaningful and recognizing that the thing, act, or choice really has no meaning.

It is our heart that truly matters.  It is seeing beyond, into what we are learning, how it is growing us, why we are doing it.  What is the point of living simply if your heart is full of self-righteousness?  What is the point of living extravagantly if your heart is full of pride?  We all battle with our inner selves that screams for recognition and fulfillment, and even the most spiritual person falls prey to it by connecting their lifestyle choice to their happiness and even worthiness.

It is only through acknowledging that it is our response that really matters that we can appreciate the implications of our choices.

Joy, fulfillment, or even growth cannot come from a lifestyle choice.  It isn’t anything of significance, yet it signifies everything.  We should be equally content in a hut or a palace.  True awareness and gratitude comes when we see the fruits to be enjoyed from both places.

When we can gaze at a wildflower with the same appreciation as at a costly diamond.
When we can take some measure of satisfaction in both expensive well-made clothing and homemade butter.
When we can look forward to an evening of lying in an old lawn chair watching our children play as much as attending a concert or orchestra.
When we enjoy seeing a chicken peck the ground as much as we enjoy smelling that “new car” smell.

Yes, all is meaningless.  It also means everything.  Paradox.  Tension.  Because its really about how our heart answers the question of how we choose to live.  It’s about we how we deal with it, not what we are dealt with.   We will tend towards one over the other, but let’s not forget that instead of simple versus extravagance, may we strive to live simply extravagant or extravagantly simple.

Tags: Christianity, simplicity, spirituality, worldview

About a decade ago, we began changing our lifestyle, our diet and our homelife.

This wasn’t a fad, nor was it a result of some great new epiphany.  It wasn’t even really a single life-changing decision born from chasing a dream or seeing a vision.  No, nothing that interesting.  It was more like simply taking a series of small steps, that would lead us to yet another series of steps.

We were full partakers of the consumeristic mentality, grappling with children becoming school age, and on top of it all, we were both were experiencing health challenges to which conventional medicine gave unsatisfactory answers.

As we gathered information and began making changes, there were a couple of themes that seemed on the surface to be admirable and beneficial, but with further scrutiny proved to be defective and even dangerous.

One was the “self-sufficient” idea and other was the “separatist” idea.  They are connected, in that each holds the premise that a family should seek to be an island of sorts.

Self-sufficiency is lauded by many who seek to educate and inform those who are seeking a simpler lifestyle.  While looking for information regarding small farming, gardening, using less resources like electricity, water and just consumer goods, you will likely run into the whole mindset that it is preferred to have the ability to do it all yourself.  Make your own soap, grow all your own food, raise and butcher your own animals.  Basically, you should build, grow, repair, maintain and create everything yourself.

The other idea, separatism, is the idea that home should be a refuge.  The world “out there” was to be feared and rejected, while the family should keep themselves holed up in their fortress, safe within their sanctuary.

The problem is, we aren’t designed to do everything ourselves independent from others, and were sure weren’t created to be isolated.

Practically speaking, seeking to possess the skills to do everything on one’s own is not only ridiculous, it is a kind of twisted pride.  There is nothing holy about living in a vacuum, but there is great joy and wisdom in sharing skills with others while being blessed by theirs.

Further, while our homes should be the center of our lives in the sense that we value marriage and children, it is not the be-all and end-all.  While it is a source of productivity, it should not simply benefit family members.  The gifts we possess aren’t meant to be kept to ourselves.  Home is meant to have an 0utward effect.

As a wife and mother, I can attest to the harm that self-sufficiency and separatism can have on families, and particularly on young mothers.  All too often, the principle of “home” means that she disconnects herself from most outside relationships while spending her entire waking moments on her children and household tasks.  Add to this the burden of trying to live up to some homesteading ideal, and it isn’t long before she’s pushed to the end of her limits and beyond.

• Nurture and build relationships with encouraging friends.  Make time for them.  Pray with them.  Bear each other’s burdens.
• Find others who possess skills, resources, and knowledge you desire.  Barter, share and trade with them.  Join forces with them.
• Invite into your home people who hold different worldviews, lifestyle, religion, politics, etc.  Listen to what is on their hearts.  Learn why they believe what they believe.

Matt 5:14-16   You are the light of the world.   A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.   Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it gives light unto all that are in the house.  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Rom 12:5-6   so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them

Gal 6:2   Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Tags: homelife, religion, simplicity, worldview

It’s not unusual for me to walk into a room and find random toys, bits of trash and odds and ends littering the floor.

“I thought I asked you to vacuum in here…”  I’ll ask one of my children.

“I did!” they’ll answer with wide-eyed sincerity.

“Then why is there still junk all over the floor?”

“Well, you asked me to vacuum, so I did.  That stuff didn’t fit up the vacuum.”

Makes perfect sense to me.  I guess what I should have said is something like, “Please clean the floor.  Pick up whatever doesn’t belong, and then vacuum.”  If all the bases aren’t covered, they’ll do the minimum.

But, more than just giving them a list of specific instructions each time to be sure all is completed as it should be, I am trying to instill a deeper value.

A frequent mantra in our home is, “If you see a need, fill it.”

It’s a good lesson for all of us.  Some children carry a slack attitude into adulthood, doing as little as possible to just get by.  They aren’t concerned with excellence, or even with looking for ways to help.

It is a rare person who notices needs and even more exceptional is the person who is then willing to meet those needs.

Tags: child training, worldview

When our children are small, it’s hard to imagine anything past their sweetness.

Ask a new first-time parent if they can envision a day when their little lamb may screech at them with unbridled anger, or even hit them with their little fists.  They cannot even imagine that their precious baby will ever deliberately disobey, let alone intentionally hurt someone!

Yet, anyone who has been a parent for very long will tell you that there will come a day when they are faced with the reality of their child’s sin nature.

What?  What’s that you say?!  Sin!!  Aren’t we talking about children here??!

Ah, yes.  When little Sweetie-Pie bonks another child on the head with a wooden train, or arches their back and lets out an ear-splitting wail when you make the dastardly mistake of trying to change their clothing, parents tend to fall into two camps.

There are those who view children as empty buckets.  In the minds of these parents, children come into this world pure and innocent.  As their parents, we try to fill them with good things, so that the child will then be “good”.  Ugly behavior is explained away quickly, because there is no real explanation for it.  Mainly because if the parent follows their own logic, they would be to blame for the poor attitude of the child, since maybe they haven’t been filling up their little bucket properly.

You’ve heard it.  “Oh, he’s just tired” the parent coos as their child throws himself on the floor because he was given the incorrect color of sippy cup.  “She didn’t mean to hit him, she was just trying to help him, I think” another parent explains as their smirking child holds the toy turned weapon.

It doesn’t take long for the little darling to catch on.  You can see how these parents are so easily manipulated.

These parents have a hard job.  Everything is out to “get” their child.  They try with frantic determination to control meal times, nap times and even the weather, since any negative influence may greatly affect their little bucket.  There are so many enemies to ward off, so many bad things to protect their child from, that it is a wonder these parents don’t simply collapse in exhaustion.

The child is rarely disciplined, since the parent usually finds a reason for their antics.  Outright bratty behavior confuses and dismays the parent, and justification for it is immediately sought so that the parent can be assured their little bucket is being filled properly.

And then there are those other parents.  While they also view their children as precious, there is a different understanding of their child’s inherent nature.

Romans 3:10 As it is written: “There is none righteous, no, not one;  There is none who  understands; There is none who seeks after God.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Romans 5:12 Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.

These parents understand that their children are born sinners, and it is only a matter of time before they get old enough to act upon it.  They aren’t surprised when their cherished sweetheart expresses unattractive behavior, since they understand that sins such as selfishness and rebellion rest in the heart of every man.  And child.

These parents tenderly care for their children with the utmost love, and also accept that their child will display unpleasant conduct.  They respond with patient discipline, understanding that it is their responsibility to purposefully guide and teach them.  An effort is made towards training their child, instead of merely reacting.

While attempts are made to structure such things as meals and naps to best nurture their child, the disruption of them are not viewed as excuses for poor behavior.  Instead of trying to control external influences on their child, these parents work at teaching their child self-control.

It is not enough to simply get through the day without meltdowns.  These parents know that things need to be dealt with at the heart level.  Even if the toy that was purposefully broken wasn’t costly, the issues of respect and wise stewardship are impressed upon the child.   If these parents tell their child not to touch something, and the child responds by resting their hand nearby, these parents do not turn a blind eye.  They recognize the little sprout of rebellion in the heart that is lurking, and know how easily it will grow.  They immediately work to uproot it so that sweet fellowship can be restored and harmony enjoyed.

In the homes of these parents, there is more laughter and joy heard than in the homes of the parents with little buckets.  This should not be surprising, as children thrive when there are firm boundaries, clear expectations, and consistent consequences.

You could say that the second set of parents view children more like young plants.   Yes, they need their care and nourishment and sometimes pruning, and yet ultimately they know they need something even greater; The sun, or Son.

It’s not enough to keep our children happy and alive.  We cannot be governed by the immediate circumstances in the bliss and miseries of raising children.  There needs to be a vision that is even greater than ourselves.

So how do you view your children?  Empty buckets or tender plants?

Tags: child training, homelife, parenting, presuppositions

We broke open a jar of homemade pickles today and were so pleased to discover that they were absolutely scrumptious!  I can’t claim the credit, as Skylar and our sweet friend Grace are the ones who made them.  She just sent me the recipe, which is a family recipe of theirs.  (Thanks, Aunt Myrt!)

Pickle recipe for 1 quart size jar:

Sterilize jar and heat lids in hot water.

While still hot, fill jar with

• 2 cloves of garlic
• cucumbers (whole, spear or sliced)
• 1-2 heads of dill
• 1 Tbs of canning salt.

Boil 1/2 cup a.c. vinegar. Pour into jar and fill to top with boiling water.

Screw on lid and ring and water bath 15 minutes

(And now for the really hard part.)  Let set for 4-5 months before eating.

Tags: meals, simplicity

“If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.” Isaiah 48:18

This verse was brought to me in a fresh way recently.  I’ve written about peace before, as I explored the many ways it is misunderstood and redefined.

It was made evident again that peace comes through submission to God’s authority, His “commands” as the verse states.  That was good for me to dwell on.

But what is peace?  Do we think of peace as uneventful or unchanging?  I was challenged to rethink the idea of peace, as it relates to a river.

Fresh, moving water, rushing over and through rocks, over cliffs, meandering through a forest and then swirling with heart-pounding waves.

It is active.  Moving.  Sometimes exciting, at other times tranquil, but always changing.

Otherwise, we become more like a stagnant pond.  Ew.  That is not peace, but perhaps something like selfishness, doubt, fear, worry, pride, bondage…

Peace is sometimes like the gurgling forest brooks, and at other times more like white-water rapids.

The point is, when we are fully submitted to God’s will and plan for us, fully obedient in our relationship to Him, His peace will be ever fresh, moving and active.

So, get up.  There is much to do.  May His peace be with you and wash over you!

Tags: Christianity