How do you maintain balance between being a mom, wife, and individual woman. A lot of girlfriends of mine tend to lose themselves to their family, but you seem to have a healthy balance of friends and family. That must be difficult with 6 kids?!?!
You’re right, it is difficult. It’s also necessary. I find that maintaining balance is especially important as a home schooling mom, as I am with my children all. day. long.
It is my firm belief that for the most part, we find the time for that which we want to make time for. In other words, even when things are crazy busy, we tend to make time for the things that we really want to do. When someone says they don’t have time for something, what they mean is, they are choosing to do something else with their time. I say all of this only because it is a constant struggle to keep my priorities straight. Remembering that what I do with my time is ultimately my choice helps me fill it first with good and needful things.
If I am not constantly and purposely managing my time, you can be sure that it will be swallowed up by a million little demands that fill a day and my own selfish pursuits, instead of remaining balanced as each role is nurtured. It is recognizing an actual need for a conscious attempt to direct my time, instead of letting it direct me.
In addition, it is acknowledging the fact that while one role is not more important than the other, they do demand different levels of time, energy and attention. One may have to take preference over the others at different times, simply due to logical limitations. For instance, when I am busying the children in another room so that I can discuss something with my husband, there is no need for undue guilt, just as there is no need for shame when I take some time for myself apart from my husband and children.
This seems to be the most difficult thing for us as women to grasp. It is far too easy to dive headlong into one role at the expense of others. Constantly neglecting our personal needs in regards to hobbies or even health, or pouring ourselves into our children while our relationship with our husbands suffer is indeed a sad and all too common theme.
It takes regular dedication to examining our goals in each sphere to insure proper tension between them all.
What has helped for me is to have a sort of rhythm to how each role is met. There are the daily, weekly, and then the more long-term requirements.
First and foremost, I know that I need daily time in prayer and reading the Bible. This is the biggest ongoing choice from which everything else flows.
From there, I have intention as a mom (weekly date with a child, consistent training, etc) as a wife (weekly date with my husband, daily connection and affection, satisfying and frequent sex, etc) and as an individual (writing, blogging, art, reading, friendships, time alone, etc).
Tags: questions, time management
