• Part of me thinks it must surely be almost April, while the other part is still in January.
• I’m getting the bug to work on the house again.  There are rooms that have been left untouched that really need attention.  I’ve been getting inspired, finally.
• But not to paint.  The thought of painting still gives me hives.
• I still have unexplained pain in my right lower abdomen.  Ultrasounds and blood tests show nothing.  The question is, should I seek further testing and if so, what kind.  I’ve been told the next conventional tests would be going inside with a scope (laparoscopic surgery)  or injecting dye (tracer) and taking x-rays.  I’m not keen on either of those and frankly, I’ve had all I can stand of conventional medicine for the time being.
• For the most part, nobody wants to be the one to take initiative to get something done, and yet will find it all too easy to find fault with whatever plans someone else ends up making.
• We really need a new washer and dryer.  I scraped a ton of mold out of the washer the other day.  When I Google it, my laptop almost melts from all the hot rage of disgruntled customers.  As for the dryer, a piece is broken off from the inside (making me worry a sock will get sucked down and start a fire) and it takes 2 cycles for anything to be close to dry.
• DON’T ever buy an LG front-loading washer or dryer.
• The phrase “I don’t have time” should be banned from most vocabularies.  Those who really don’t have time rarely say so, and those who say they don’t usually have no idea what they’re talking about.
• Or as Robb likes to say, “The less people have to do, the longer it takes for them to do it.”
• I was scanning Google news the other day and part of the headline was “child prostitution”.  No, I didn’t read the article.  Just closed the browser window and prayed.
• We tried to buy a bird for Skylar.  I say “tried” because we couldn’t convince the store clerks to sell us one.  They insisted on things like approved (by them) cages and birdseed.  The entire time we were there, the back room was filled with people cuddling birds.  I think it was a bird club.  Just goes to show how we can become consumed by anything.
• In just a little over a month, Callahan will be one year old.  I find that… unbelievable.
• Whenever he sees a picture of a baby in a magazine or book, he excitedly laughs and talks to it.

Facebook can be quite demanding.

There’s the whole “25 Things” note, and the “(your name) Needs” note you do through a search engine, and “One Word Answers”, etc etc etc.

I’ve ignored them all. So sorry. I’ll do one just so I can say I have. This one is “Finish the Sentence”.

1. I’ve come to realize that my last kiss… will be just one of many today.

2. I am listening to… Spence playing with tractors, Callahan gulping milk, Skylar playing guitar, Chase playing the djembe, washing machine running, Cruiz talking, Carmen singing and the UPS truck driving by. Anything but the voices in my head. Those voices… never… stop…

3. I talk… before I think and a little too loudly.

4. I love… my striped socks.

5. My best friend and I… are married.

6. My first real kiss… was sweet, embarrassing, breathtaking, and with the one I ended up marrying.

7. Love is… indescribable.

8. Marriage is… highly recommended.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking…. about switching to Geico.

10. I’ll always… say never. Wait…

11. The last time I really cried was because… Robb drank the last of the coffee.

12. My cell phone… is my nemesis. I hate talking on the phone.

13. When I wake up in the morning… it’s usually because Callahan is chewing on my face.

14. Before I go to bed… I always want a snack.

15. Right now I am thinking about… what a weird word ’snack’ is. Doesn’t it just look wrong?

16. Babies are… absolutely, adorably wonderful and exhaustably, demandingly frustrating… at the same time.

17. I get on MySpace… Myspace? What’s that? Heh.

18. Today I… cussed at my hair. Again.

19. Tomorrow I will be… another day older.

20. I really want to be… all that I can be. Wait… I think that’s a slogan. Okay how ’bout I really want to be… somewhere tropical. Is that normal enough for ya’ll?

I was getting pretty lax on the whole Elimination Communication thing with Callahan.  To make it easier, I’ve been skipping the pants and just dressing him in his diaper and Babylegs.  They’re like little legwarmers, to keep his legs cozy without having to mess with clothing.  Genius!

Tags: e.c., photos

Robb and I were recently discussing family and household things.  At the top of the list was home schooling, time management, and the older children’s learning work.

See, they really do very little sit down school work, and we do not stick to a rigid schedule.  The way I look at it is this:

1. They have a certain amount of learning work they’re expected to finish every day.
2. They also have certain chores they are expected to accomplish every day. (meals, laundry, or dishes)
3. They also have specific extras like music practice or handwork. (like knitting, etc)

Instead of standing over them with a hand buzzer, telling them what to do and when, I give them a lot of free reign to make their own decisions and create their own schedule.  I do this for the purpose of teaching them things like time management and responsibility.

It is up to them to go through the mental exercise of thinking “Okay, I have this and this and this to do and this much time to do it in.”

They could be spending 6 hours sitting at the table doing book work, maybe learning things like Latin.  That would be okay.  But in my mind, they are better served learning practical life skills in addition to regular schoolwork.

Which got us talking about running a home.  The only reason I have time to write things like this is because in the middle of doing his grammar, my twelve year old son gets up and switches the laundry load.  My ten year old daughter finishes her learning work in time to make lunch.

Of course, I am up and down out of my chair ten times in ten minutes, changing diapers and helping my six year old unload the dishwasher.  But the fact remains that I can actually sit in a chair at all.

The way I see it, I could work my fingers to the bone while my children slaved away over their books and then played video games.

If I am too busy and my children are too bored… then I am a poor home manager.

But that’s my husband’s business mind talking.  He’s an entrepreneur, so he thinks - if there’s someone over here with a need, and someone over there needing something to do, put them together and get out of the way.  That’s how money is made.

The same is true for a home.

It’s much harder when all your children are small and mother has to do most of the work herself.  Time passes quickly and before you know it, you’ll have several little helpers.  In the meantime,  don’t be afraid to give them jobs that stretch them a little.  You’ll be surprised at what they’re capable of, and they’ll grow up knowing to how to love the challenge and take joy in the resulting sense of accomplishment.

I’m not running this home nearly as effectively as it could be.  I’m learning every day though, and we’ve found things that work for us.

When a home is managed efficiently and with purpose, it can be a resourceful, well-run place where creativity and hospitality flow to bless countless lives.

Tags: homelife, homeschool, parenting, time management

For those of you who are fans of the Weston A Price Foundation and Nourishing Traditions cookbook, here is a wonderful website to assist you.

Laura at Moving Strongly Forward has a lot of really helpful information, links and ideas. She also has videos that show her making things like kefir and bone broth. How cool is that?!

I’ve been tossing around the idea of making videos like this, and now I don’t have to. Yay!

So go check it out.

Tags: health, meals

Last night was Monday, which means it was…. FAMILY NIGHT!

We ate under the table.  And just for fun, we covered the sides with sheets.  Since that wasn’t dangerous enough, we added candlelight.

Food consisted of finger food so we didn’t have to worry about such silly things as plates and silverware.  Shredded beef in pastry, small bread slices with melted cheese, and orange slices.  For dessert I simply cut up a few candy bars into bite size pieces.

Afterwards, we all watched a movie together.

Tags: Family Night, photos

This will be the last issue of Answering your questions, at least for now.  If I didn’t get to yours and you’re really bummed at me, or there is something you still really want to ask, email me and I may reconsider.  Just for you.  Cuz you are special.

I would love to know your tips to training children? Your children are very sweet and after having 6 of them and different ages, I would love to hear pointers or how you deal with specific situations. For example training for first time obedience, what you do if/when your child talks back or questions why you tell them to do something.

Oooh, I always cringe a little when asked about child training.  Because that will be the moment one of my children will cause another to bleed, or will snark out a “Okaaay!” when reminded to unload the dishwasher, or experience a bad case of PHL (parentage hearing loss).

One of the biggest things that has worked for me is setting up ‘practice’ situations.  I believe it is really unfair to put a child in a situation for which they’re totally unprepared, and then expect them to behave appropriately.

(It’s right up there with never expecting them to behave appropriately, but that’s another subject.)

What I mean by practicing obedience is this.  Say I didn’t have internet access at home, and needed to spend a few hours a week at a coffee shop to complete my online work.  Now, it would be suicide to simply take my entire troop there and expect them to survive three hours in a small cafe.  I mean, even if they survived, the cafe would not.  And I would be barred for life from there.

Instead, I start practicing “Coffee Shop” here at home.  Beginning for about 20 minutes and working our way up to three hours, we would practice sitting at the table quietly.  I’d give them quiet activities, such as school work, drawing, coloring, stickers, puzzles, etc.  They would have to ask to use the bathroom, speak in a whisper, and keep their hands to themselves.

We did this in real life, and it was not unusual for us to spend five hours in the coffee shop.  Far from being difficult and harsh, going to the cafe was the highlight of their week!  Because they were prepared, and knew exactly what was expected of them.  The same goes for sitting in church, going to a nice restaurant, or greeting adults.  Practice it at home!

I also use this for safety issues as well.  Toddlers constantly putting small choke-threatening objects  in their mouth, the need to stay away from dangerous things (streets, ponds, glass, ovens), the need to remain in a safe area (on the porch, the living room, in my sight, a rug), etc.  I set aside time when I can remain calm and cheerful, and that I can focus on them and the specific issue.  And we practice.

As for first time obedience, we actually play a ‘game’ to enforce this. I give commands that they have to quickly and cheerfully reply, “Yes ma’am” and then obey.  I choose some silly things like stand on one leg, make a funny face, run to the door, etc and also some helpful things like put away the book, clean up the table, etc.  We usually have a lot of giggling going on during these times!

Okay, now you’re probably asking how to correct them during practice times when they aren’t behaving as expected.  This is where the training comes in.

When they put the button in their mouth, begin to leave the room, or don’t respond appropriately, there is a consequence.  During these times of training, it is a sweet but firm “No” and one simple swat with a switch.  Ah, gentle mother, it is just enough to get their attention.  Some children may not even cry, but they will pause and consider the cause/effect phenomenon that just took place.

Training should be calm, cheerful and simple.  No yelling.  Parents should not even raise their voice or change their expression much.  No frowning.  No unending warnings and threats.  And absolutely no counting to three.  Ugh.  I think this is actually PARENT training!

A few minutes of this every so often is usually all it takes.  Children usually respond very quickly and actually bloom!  Dare I say that these training times are even fun?!  The outcome is a secure, confident child who revels in his newfound ability.

Not to mention a calm, joyful mother who is able to enjoy a conversation without running laps after their toddler.

Whenever I experience a particularly bad day with my children, my response is not that I need time away from them or that they are ‘bad’.  No, I usually sigh in disgust at my own lack of consistency and tell them, “Tomorrow is a Training Day!”

And you know what?  They aren’t even bummed.  Chocolate chip rewards help.

Tags: child training, parenting, questions

Tags: photos

I have all these pieces of a second part to the grace posts in my head, but not feeling cohesive enough to get it down into a readable format. I haven’t forgotten about it though. Just so you know.

Callahan gets around so fast. We finally put a gate at the top of the basement stairs, since there isn’t a door there. I found him yesterday standing at the top of the stairs looking down, just teetering there with one hand on the wall. I grabbed him, then pulled my heart back into my chest.

Spence still has baby cheeks, and his knuckles are still slightly dimply. I am trying to soak this time for all it’s worth, because this summer he’ll be all little man.

If I try to kiss him, he runs away in disgust. I have learned to be patient, and all on his own he’ll come to me and ask to be held. If I’m really lucky, he’ll tell me “Me lufv you” and wrap his arms around my neck. Aaahhh.

I brought a lot of bins of clothes up out of the basement. Most of them are still in the upstairs hallway. Today I told Chase and Skylar to take 5 a day up to the attic. Chase looked at me with puppy dog eyes. Skylar said, “If we do 6 then we’ll be done even sooner!”

The basement is by no means cleared out, but the children moved the rest of the junk into a couple big piles so the floor was open enough for roller-blading. Spence rides his tricycle. There is enough dust in the air now to build our own little planet.

I have decided that Lego are, at the same time, the best and worst toy ever. They promote endless imagination and are extremely age versatile. They also know how to scatter themselves around every square inch of a home. I am not kidding when I say I even find them in my food.

It’s warm this week. In homes everywhere, laundry triples as the snow melts. The brown earth combines with just enough moisture to make the perfect slop mixture. You don’t have to touch it to experience it. If you simply look at it, it will leap on you and smear itself all over your clothing and body. Just ask my children.

I really want a sound machine. I think it would help Callahan sleep better. Problem is, most of them look like little spaceships. So UGLY! They are a decorating nightmare. Big deal, right? Well, a bedroom tends to be hard enough to keep looking inviting and romantic without adding strange looking UFO’s to the mix. Yes, he sleeps in our room.

I’ve been asked a couple times to post a weekly menu. I’ve tried to write one up several times but became weary of slapping myself to remain awake. Booooooring. But if you really want one, I’ll do it. Because I love you. You’ll have to nag me though. So I know you’re serious.