It seems that whenever anyone starts loudly objecting gay marriage, they begin squawking about how it’s going to lead to all sorts of crazy stuff.  Men will begin marrying multiple wives, or even other multiple men!  Little girls will be marching down the aisle to old men!  People will marry sheep! America will be in shambles as buildings blaze and gays parade around naked having sex in your living room!

Really.  Really?!

Shut. Up.

I can’t get around the fact that the Bible says practicing homosexuality is a sin.

It’s a fact that I don’t like, because I know many gay and lesbian people, and they are awesome.  And you know what?  I love them, and I will continue to show them love.

(There’s a lot about the Bible that I don’t “like”, but I’m not God, and I don’t get to decide.  I have learned, however, that His ways end up making a great deal of sense, and bring immeasurable blessing.)

I don’t condone homosexuality.   I’m also not ultimately concerned with freaking out over marital laws, either.  The Bible speaks to all sorts of sexual sin, including adultery and fornication.  So, just as I don’t condone infidelity, pornography, or sleeping around, my concern is more with living an upright life and then showing the love of Christ to people who are in the midst of that, so that they can come to know Him and love Him too.

Hate to break it to ya, but here is nothing new, nothing new, about sexual immorality.  It has been around since sin entered the world.  If we follow God, and not man, how on earth does any law have an effect on our own marriages, families, churches and therefore communities?

If we are persecuted for saying that homosexuality is a sin, so be it.  Persecution, real persecution, would probably be a good thing for us.  Heck, what if the spazzes are right, and polygamy and bestiality do become lawful?  I will still believe and speak of what the Bible says on the matter, even while continuing to love my husband, teach my children God’s ways, and being kind to everyone.  In other words, it will probably just cause me to lean more heavily on God, as I look to Him for strength.   No chance of churches continuing to be fun little country clubs.  I expect that as Christians really do have to (once again) experience oppression, there will be real revival.

The laws that govern us are just a reflection of the people’s worldview.  This is not a Christian nation.   Most people who live here are not Jesus lovers.  Our laws will reflect that.  My job isn’t to moan about morals, or our nation, or, God forbid, to “preach truth” about the sin of homosexuality while holding them at arm’s length.

(That’s not preaching truth, by the way.  That’s being a coward.  Quit being a wimp, actually attach some faces to your principles, and heed all of Christ’s words.)

My job is not only to be the mouth, but also to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  I am called to first occupy myself with my own relationship with Jesus, so that I can stand firm in truth while loving those around me, no matter where they, too, are struggling.

If a heart is changed, then a life will be changed.  It really won’t matter what a law says.

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I always listen/read with great interest when the topic of entertainment is discussed as it pertains to its appropriateness for Christians.  It usually begins with a discussion of whether or not a certain book or movie is okay for Christians to watch/read.  Some say that fiction is just that - fiction, and therefore shouldn’t be regarded as a big, scary enemy.  Others say that Christians must carefully guard what they see/hear and only allow what is good and pure.  (Phil 4:8)

Both sides have their points, and the discussion heats up.  Liberty is pitted against high standards.  Yes, we have freedom, and as long as we aren’t sinning, we are free to choose certain things. And yes, we are to feed on that which is good, so that we are growing.

There are usually cautions on both sides, since it is true that forever indulging in the freedoms we have can lead to a spiritual lukewarmness, and yet insisting on the opposite is not acknowledging the inevitable inconsistency in our own life.

I’m not sure how accurately Phil 4:8 is used.  I do know that Jesus saw and heard many, many things that were not pure and lovely when he was partying with the sinners.  Or even dining and talking with them.  Being Godly doesn’t mean removing ourselves from the culture around us.  And yet If we were honest about the context in which Phil 4:8 is usually heralded, then for some, watching the Food Network would be in direct violation of that verse.  The fact is, there are some things we should rightly avoid!

How, then, do we decide on whether or not we ourselves should enjoy a certain object of entertaining media?  I think the right questions to ask ourselves is not whether the media itself is evil or not, but should be regarding our purpose, maturity and response.

Are we viewing what we come in contact with through the correct lens?  Are we in prayer and the Word enough that we are able to discern what is being thrown at us?  Are we capable of enjoying the entertainment value without stumbling, or is it causing us to feed our flesh?

It isn’t necessary to be afraid of everything, seeing a devil around every corner.  We don’t need to fear culture.  We should recognize it, learn it, and use it.

And then someone always, always, has to say something to the effect of “Well I don’t enjoy x, y, or z and never have, and I don’t see how anyone could!”

And that’s where my head falls in my hands, as I sadly realize that once again we miss the point.

The problem with saying such a thing is that, in essence, one is saying that they themselves are the standard to which everyone else must measure up.

And that is not only a scary view, it is hideously wrong.

If you’ve been journeying along with me, first we pondered how our focus affects our response, then how our focus affects our daily and family life, then how our focus affects our spiritual life.

I’ve felt the need for some pruning and repenting.  How about you?  But we’re not done yet.

Focus also affects how I view and handle money.  There have been times when worry kept me awake at nights.  There are also times of surplus.  But in both cases, I am called to be generous and wise.  Whether I have much or not enough, am I a wise steward?

Do I view money as a right?  Do I hold it with an open hand, or with selfishness?

Do I give to others ungrudgingly, even when it’s difficult?  Am I a stingy giver, or a lavish giver?  Do I give only to those whom I think deserve it?  Do I give to others regularly, or only when I think I can afford it?

What are my spending habits like?  Do I tend to think I always need a little treat?  Do I stick to a budget, or do I just hope it all comes out even in the end? Do I usually leave a store with way more than I intended purchasing?

How do I view debt?  Is it no big deal, a necessary evil, or something to be avoided at all costs?

Do I save?  Am I mindful of tomorrow’s needs?

Do I resent those who give less?  Do I judge those who continually struggle financially? Do I find ways to help or advise them, or do I avoid them?

Do I resent those who have more money than me?  Am I jealous of those who don’t have to scrimp?  Do I expect others to continually assist me financially?

My focus also affects my spiritual life.

I want to first point out that unlike other religions or philosophies, Christianity truly embodies the It’s not about me concept.  The core of Christianity isn’t about bettering oneself or obtaining favor.  It’s about the glory of God.

The work is finished in Christ’s atonement, and if our life has any purpose at all it’s as a sacrifice poured out, living for God and for others.

Much of my spiritual health is based on that understanding.

How do I read my Bible?  Is it only with “me” in mind; ie getting a morsel of daily encouragement for myself, or is it learning more about God?  Do I perform mental gymnastics or take verses out of context in attempts to always apply them to me and my situation (or even skip over the impersonal ones altogether) or do I seek to come to a greater understanding of who God is?  Do I view the Bible as an instruction manual or God’s written revelation of himself and his glory?

When bad things happen in my life, does it cause my faith to doubt or waiver?

How do I view the church?  Am I grateful for God’s people and seek to meet with some regularly?  Is my attendance based on whether or not I feel like it and don’t have too much other stuff going on?  Am I looking for what I get out of it, or seeing to serve and bless others?  I would say that my opinion on those who forsake the gathering of His people altogether is that they have forgotten it’s not about them.

How do I handle spiritual dry spells, inward struggles or sin?  Do I murmur and complain with no change, or is my hope and trust in Jesus’ victory?  Am I constantly asking for prayer and help, or am I looking for ways to also bless others?

Are the majority of my prayers mainly lists of requests or are they also outpourings of thankfulness and praise?

My response will be a result of where my focus is.

When my focus is ultimately on my self - my needs, my wants, my goals, my preferences, my hurts, my, my, my - I can be almost certain that I will respond negatively.

But when my focus is on something greater, when I live under the realization that there is a much larger picture, my response is able to be something beautiful.

I don’t have to wait for a tragedy to see what my response will be and know where my focus ultimately is.

What my focus is will manifest itself through my daily living.

How do I manage my time?  Am I using it wisely or am I prone to laziness?  Do I make time for needed things or am I inclined towards busyness?  Am I focused primarily on selfish pursuits?

How do I view children? Do I embrace them?  Am I resentful of how much of my time they take?  Do I enjoy spending time with them or am I eager to be away from them?  How do I parent?

What is my marriage like?  When my spouse makes a mistake, is in a bad mood or demonstrates a poor attitude, how do I respond?  How often do I consider their needs and put them before my own?

How do I view things like hobbies or entertaining activities?  Are they considered periodic enjoyments or do they make up the majority of my life?   Do I have to have them in order to be happy?

Some of my answers to these types of questions cause me to cringe a little.  Constant assessment and adjustment is needful, as my focus so easily gets off.

What I tend to emphasize, be it the blessings or hardships of life, is just an outworking of where my heart is.

Time, children, marriage, hobbies.. How I operate within them can either be an outpouring of my complete satisfaction in something greater than my self, or they can be endless grapplings of futility as I strive to fill up a gaping hole that knows no completion.

A heart preoccupied with “me” will rarely be filled with the kind of love that it really longs for, because it can’t see past “me”.  Because it’s really not about me.

How is it that some can respond in a beautiful, even self-sacrificial way amidst horrid circumstances while some constantly struggle or practice bitterness even in decent circumstance?

We’ve all heard stories of admirable people who continued to express thankfulness and give to others if they could, even while they themselves suffered in a concentration camp or languished in a prison cell.

There have been times that I have risen above arduous circumstances, and other occasions when even the daily grind seemed too heavy to bear.  What was it that made the difference?

When battles, hardships, sickness or pain come, how can I have any confidence my response will be praiseworthy?

And what of my response to others’ affairs?  Am I able to rejoice in another’s good news, victories and talents?  Or am I prone to jealousy, questioning why I didn’t experience that, or irritated by the admiring attention and comments they receive?

I think the answer is fairly simple.

My response will be a result of where my focus is.

When my focus is ultimately on my self - my needs, my wants, my goals, my preferences, my hurts, my, my, my - I can be almost certain that I will respond negatively.

But when my focus is on something greater, when I live under the realization that there is a much larger picture, my response is able to be something beautiful.

Because, far too often, this is what happens instead…

Children who are raised in a Christian home are mainly taught morality and religion.

(Don’t do this.  Don’t do that.  And don’t even think about the other.)

So then most kids grow up obeying a set of arbitrary, biblically unsupported rules, singing songs about whales, attending church and all the church stuff, hanging out with fellow screwed up church kids, etc. etc. until they get old enough to where they have to think for themselves and life starts throwing them some big curve balls.

They usually respond in one of three ways.

1. They become legalistic morons, parroting the same (out-of-context) verses that they hated so much when they were younger, and end up fulfilling the stereotype that rejects anyone that isn’t exactly like they are.
2. They become just another fake church-goer playing pretendsies, who tithes and periodically warms a pew, and ends up filling the good little boy/girl role well on the outside while their real life is just as screwed up (if not more so) than everyone else’s.
3. They reject everything, scorning church and everyone in it, and end up seeking an alternate pseudo-spirituality or just living entirely for themselves.

And yet, I read a theme over and over in the Bible that says there is great blessing in growing up within the Lord’s teachings and ways.

I don’t want to teach my children a list of right and wrongs. I want their hearts to be gripped by the Gospel.

I want their lives to be fueled by the Spirit and transformed by the love of Jesus.  I want them to be completely enamored by the why’s and how’s of a Gospel-centered life.

But how?  My life is not perfect. I am a work in progress, myself.  A pilgrim walking on the road that leads to sanctification.  So how do I fulfill this seemingly impossible task?

I think the biggest hindrance is hypocrisy.  Children can see right through religious talk, straight into the way their parents lead double lives.   No amount of fake holiness can make up for witnessing people who are motivated (dragged down) by anger or pride, or are bound up in habitual hidden sin, or fail to have valid answers for their childrens’ questions.

All I can say is that I’m beyond thankful for the grace of Jesus.  Through it I have an everlasting hope.

Despite my past failures and future goof-ups in parenting, through this grace it I have the ability to be forgiven, forgive others, and ask my children to forgive me.

And, most of all, I lean on this grace to capture the hearts of my children, to do what I could never do, as God draws them to himself.

Who used to go to church and pray and read the Bible.  But then some bad stuff happened in their lives, and stuff didn’t really end up the way they should have, and now they have no use for that Jesus garbage.

It’s crazy how much we view God as a casino slot machine. We slip the coins in and after spending a bit of time, we expect some payback.

Or maybe another analogy would be our car.  We gas it, clean it, and change the oil.  And we expect that it will take us from point A to point B.  When it doesn’t, we look for a problem.  Is it out of gas?  Does it need a new belt or transmission?   Can I invest more money in it so that it continues to do what it should?

God doesn’t work that way.

It doesn’t matter how good you are.  It doesn’t matter if you keep all your rules, give lots of money away, or read a verse every day.  There is no guarantee that you will not experience suffering, in some form or another.

In fact, Jesus said to expect suffering.

Yes, the laws of the harvest apply (if you sow, then you will reap) and there are principles of blessing that are true.

But here’s the stickler.

God is more concerned with the health of our heart, spirit and soul than he is the health of our body and bank account.

If going through pain, loss, hardship, or persecution will end up making us closer to Him, then He’ll allow it, and use it for His glory and our good.

It’s funny.  We read about Jesus’ life and all that he struggled through.  We read of the Apostle’s beatings and even deaths.  We know of the martyrs and the history of persecution in the church.

And yet..

When we feel the slightest pinch of discomfort, how often do we pull up our mental checklist to see if we’ve been reading our Bible, praying, and giving like we should?  Or at least attending church now and then.  Then we either pat ourselves on the back or resolve to fix things before stuff really goes bad so that we have our butts covered.

But if things continue to go downhill?  Oh, we’re angry. After all, didn’t we uphold our end of the agreement?  Is this what we deserve after doing the “right” things and being so “good”?  We rage against the unfairness of the situation.

And then we question if God is good.

Because, in our minds, a good God would save not only our soul, but our marriage, health, finances, relationships, mortgage and anything else we deem important.

We make up this meaning of who God should be.  We make an idol, and we worship it, then hate it when it fails us.

God is not a genie in a bottle.  He’s not a grandfather in the sky with pockets full of peppermint candy.  He’s not an angry, yelling father doling out punishments.

We can’t really understand suffering and trials and all the horrid stuff that happens in this life until we understand who God is.

And, who He isn’t.

Because it could use a little, um… vacuuming?

More like, it could use a large claw that would pick it up, turn it sideways, then shake it out.

A heavy-duty power-washer would be nice, too.

Or when I’m making a quick trip alone to the store and realize I have a dried snot loogy on the front of my shirt.  It’s too late to run to the restrooms and frantically try to scrub it out.  I’m at the checkout, and not only has everyone in the store seen it, but the lady ringing up my order has already noticed it and is avoiding eye contact so as not to invite the weird hippie (me) to start talking about her 30 cats and egg carton collection.

I want to explain, I didn’t use the front of my shirt as a snot receptacle, honest!  I always use a tissue.  Just like normal people!  I just happened to console my crying young boy who had fallen minutes before I walked out of the door to come here.  I take regular showers, too.

Yeah.  So, there’s lots of things I want to explain to people.  At times I can almost hear the assumptions being made, because I do that too.  And so do you.

Yes, you do.

It’s like that with our house, too.

I love our house. Absolutely, love it.  I love the craftsmanship, the history, the attention to detail, and the huge number of closets.  But when someone comes for the first time who hasn’t known us for long, I want to explain it away.  I want to clarify that I don’t believe I’m something because of having something.

I want to describe how, years ago, we had a new house and lots of toys and new furniture and sporty cars and everything we wanted and then sold it all and then simplified and sold more stuff and grew two big gardens then simplified more and lived in a small cabin and milked goats and raised chickens and *ack* didn’t even have lights or a flush toilet and then I want to tell them the story of how we got the house and the thought behind it and our intention for it and then add all the God stuff like prayer and and how many people we have over and how we try to practice words like hospitality and stewardship…

Now, some labels don’t bother me, even if they’re wrong.

(Like the recent accusation that I’m a brainless wife who just parrots my husband and does whatever he tells me.  It was better to just play it up and act as if they were right, and so much more fun!)

(The same person labeled me a Neo-Christian.  I have to admit I didn’t even know what that was.)

(Actually, the exact term was a “f*cking Neo-Christian”.  But it was meant in the kindest way, I’m sure.)

Stuff like that makes me smile.  But, other labels…?  Not so much.

Because I don’t want people to think I’m materialistic.  I’m afraid of being labeled shallow and greedy. I don’t want to be thought of as someone who thinks they’re better.

All that explaining I want to do sometimes?  It would be to make me look better in the way I want to look better.

Which really is just another form of pride.

I guess the important thing is to just consistently check my attitude, intentions, and motivation, then leave the rest to God.  If I have to always clarify and explain, then maybe my heart isn’t right.  Actions reveal what is in the heart.