Those who know us are aware of our practice of having an open home. I don’t mean open in the sense that we’re willing and able to have people over. I mean truly open, in that our home is your home.

What this translates to is the regular presence of one or two non-immediate family members in our house, and often having large numbers for meals.  People are eating, preparing food, cleaning up, talking, playing music, or playing outside.  It is a whirlwind of motion and events happening simultaneously and somewhat haphazardly.

I love it.

This confuses some people.  They come over expecting me to wait on them, dazzle them with my hostess skills, and basically turn cartwheels in my efforts to please them.  They are severely disappointed.

More than likely, if they bring a watermelon, they’ll be given a cutting board and pointed in the general direction of the knives.

If they ask what they can bring, they’ll (gasp) be told what they can bring.

If they ask for more of the fast-disappearing cookies, they’ll be dismayed to learn that it’s kind of a wysiwyg (what you see is what you get) system, and once stuff is gone, it’s gone.  If they’re really bent out of shape about not us not having something, enough of something, or even the correct kind of something, they can expect to be told they’re welcome to bring it themselves next time.

If they want more of whatever it is I just put away, they’ll simply be told where they can find it.

If they drink coffee on a regular basis, they’ll probably be taught how to work the coffee maker so that they can help themselves.

Does that sound rude?

Perhaps some of the confusion comes from the standard belief that waiting on people is showing respect and care.  I dare say it just might mean that one views possessions as “theirs”, clasped tightly in their fist of ownership, only meant to be loaned to people who are worthy of such an honor.

Bah.

There are certain times that I do place emphasis on being a super-gracious hostess, but truth be told, if I always operated under that model it would put a serious damper on the number of people and times we opened our home.  It would definitely be more of a burden.  Instead, I lean towards a what’s-mine-is-yours attitude.  If you’re thirsty, get a drink of water.  I’ll show you where we keep “your” glasses.

Feel free to put it in “your” dishwasher when you’re done, too.

Just recently, for close to four weeks I eliminated all sugar and gluten (grains, flour, etc) from my diet. My cravings were minimal and I enjoyed feeling my system regain balance. I was also able to recognize something I hadn’t before, at least on this level.

I already mentioned that I really didn’t struggle too much with cravings.  Sure, here and there I would want something that would take a bit of self-control and willpower to say no to, but for the most part it went pretty smoothly.

Until one evening.

Some stresses had been building up for the past few days, and on this particular evening I was feeling discouraged and very frustrated.  And suddenly, I was craving chocolate.  Ice cream.  Wine.  You name it, I wanted it.

I managed to not succumb to the temptations that were threatening, but it dawned on me how much food can be a crutch.  Or something we use to comfort ourselves. Or reward ourselves.  Or numb ourselves.  We feel a bit stressed or put under pressure, and it’s just knee-jerk to use food or drink for consolation.

I don’t think most of us are concerned about this.  So what, right?  Except when we turn to cookies, we probably aren’t turning to God who would love to have us bring our struggles to him in prayer.  We probably aren’t even turning to friends, which is also what God has provided for comfort, encouragement and counsel.

What’s worse is we end up subconsciously teaching our children this habit.  Lose a game?  Let’s all go out for ice cream.  Celebrating a birthday?  Let’s binge on fluorescent cake and chemicals labeled as candy.  Get all A’s?  Let’s splurge on sugary junk.

Our children get the message loud and clear.  Food, particularly the completely non-nourishing, disease-causing kind, is the perfect reward, comforter, and joy.

What if food was just food?  What if, when I did want to indulge, I based my choices on thoughtful consideration instead of ingrained habit?  What if I only enjoyed a piece of chocolate or a glass of wine when I simply wanted to revel in it’s taste?  What if I celebrated birthdays with fresh strawberries and real whipped cream?  What if a treat could be one hearty homemade cookie?

This has been a long, gradual change in our home, one that I often let slip and (even more frustrating) one that is constantly undermined by our culture’s mindless traditions and foolish patterns.   I’m trying hard to instill in my children a different way of viewing food.

But first I have to view it differently myself.

Hope you enjoyed your holiday weekend!  Let’s revisit an older post..

Whenever Robb and I move, the change is pretty significant.  Each time there are people who are excited for us and share in our enthusiasm, and some who are disappointed and ask us why.

And every time, I am asked time and time again if I miss what we left behind.  My answer is usually the same.  Some aspects I’ll miss, and others I won’t.

It’s as if they don’t believe a certain ancient author when he stated so wisely after he had tried everything under the sun, “All is vanity.”

Some said we had it all when we had all new furniture, Corvette, Camaro, jet skis and snowmobiles.  (It could just as easily be said that we really screwed up when we got in over our heads and up to our ears in debt, stuck in the snobbery and mediocrity of subdivided neighborhoods.)

What about when we had a theme bedroom for our two children - the ideal size of one boy and one girl?  (We got some furrowed eyebrows when we shared the news baby number three was on her way.)

Then some celebrated when we changed everything and moved to an older home with 2 large gardens and a small hobby farm.  (The flip side: I was going to run myself ragged trying to be Holly Homemaker - tsk tsk.)

And, oh, when we moved to a cozy cabin on acreage, complete with wood heat… We were living some people’s lifelong dream, while others had CPS on speed dial, sure we were going to spend the winter huddling in the dirt sipping on cold gruel.

Then the lake house.  Ironically, the same people who had expressed grave concern over moving TO the farm, now thought we were insensitive meanies dragging our children AWAY from their beloved animals.  Depending on the person, the lake was either a fun-filled adventure, or a gaping mouth of death.

So what about now, in a large craftsman made ‘mansion’?  To hear others tell the story, it’s either we’re enjoying a once-in-a-lifetime adventure, or we’re yet again proving our insanity.  To some it’s a big mistake, fraught with risk and too much work, while to others it’s a wonderful opportunity.

The point is, they all have their blessings and their downsides.  We enjoy the lessons, without getting bogged down too much by the notion that the place is the answer.

Maybe, if you can’t be happy where you are, you probably won’t be happy anywhere else either.  And if you’re simply content where you are now, then even if you ended up changing everything, you’d probably be just as satisfied.

Let’s clear some things up.

I am not against medicine, science or technology.

If it weren’t for all those things, I probably would have died during my first pregnancy/birth.  Several friends of mine would have had tiny caskets to bury instead of enjoying a healthy toddler today.  Others I know would have died from cancer long ago.  The list goes on.

With that being said, there are a lot of tenets surrounding medicine, science and technology that I question.  I think we all should question, be willing to at least dig for the why’s and how’s, and then still be willing to say we just don’t absolutely know.  Taking our ques from the latest media or doggedly following a doctor’s opinion is setting oneself up for some big mistakes.

I hate giving specific examples because so often people get lost on a tangent as they frantically point out all the exceptions and what happened to their sister’s husband’s boss’s friend, but here goes…

A lot of people thought I was crazy seven years ago when I threw out all our plastic toys and sippy cups.  I just bit my tongue when about five or six years later the larger media caught wind of the story and then finally the majority of parents knew enough to be enraged about toxins like lead and BPA in our children’s items.

I’ve been asked why on earth I would use cloth diapers in this day and age.  What most parents don’t know is that many disposable diapers contain a long list of chemicals.  Sure, as a parent you can just trust that the “experts” are doing their job of keeping products safe.  But I’m just not the sort of person who waits for the diaper companies to write on their packages, “Caution, this product contains an ingredient similar to the substance that was banned from tampons long ago due to it’s link to toxic shock syndrome. Use at your own risk.”  Suddenly, the telltale droopy dangle from a soaked gel-filled diaper isn’t quite so darling.

And I mentioned my first pregnancy.  Yeah, it was medicine and technology that ended up saving me, but it was my unresponsible, unquestioning trust in them that got me there in the first place.

You see, I was diagnosed with really high blood pressure later in my pregnancy that progressed to eclampsia and toxemia.   Their standard protocol was to eat more saltines, drink more water, and rest with my feet up.  I have no idea who comes up with this stuff.  That kind of salt is perhaps the worst thing I could have been eating.  Since I was gaining weight so rapidly due to my blood pressure problems, I was avoiding protein and good fats.  Again, the worst thing I could have done.  But they told me I was doing it exactly right.

I was also eating fast food every day for 2 of my meals.  I started out packing a lunch, but severe pregnancy exhaustion, plus the fact that I had to be at work at 6:30 am, meant that habit quickly died.  I would usually grab a cheeseburger and a water.  Once in a while I’d get the fries too, since a meal was so cheap and I’d get hungry again so quickly after eating.  I thought that beef, dairy, fresh tomato and lettuce, and a bun couldn’t be all that bad.

What most of us don’t know is the extremely high sodium content in those foods, the dyes and preservatives in every single item, and the formaldehyde all fast food beef is washed in.  Yum.

Okay, so this is just one illustration.  My point is, I know so so so so many people who, like I once did, only get their info from one kind of source, end up in trouble, and then need that same source to help save them.

Now, the vaccine issue.

I am not against parents choosing to vaccinate their children.  All parents certainly should do what they believe is best for their children, their circumstance, and their lifestyle.

I also think parents should be getting ALL the information before they make the choice to vaccinate or not vaccinate.

There are risks with not vaccinating, and there are risks with vaccinating.  The sad thing is, most parents do not receive enough information to make an educated decision.  Most of them ask their pediatrician, and 99% of them will scare parents into vaccinating.

It’s not the doctors’ fault.  We want to believe that they know all the information there is, pro and con, and will pass that on to us.  The largest problem with this is, they get one-sided information handed to them, too.  Doctors are bombarded with tons of papers and journals that are almost impossible to sort through fully.  They fall back on the trusted assumptions that have morphed over the years into spoon-fed dogma.  They’ll say things like “vaccines are estimated to save millions of lives each year”.  They’ll bring up polio and state how the vaccine has virtually eradicated it.  If all else fails, they may, at best, paint the “anti-vaccine” people as ignorant fools who are unaware of the history of vaccinations that have made our “virtually disease-free” society possible, or at worst, as quacks who fall prey to conspiracy theories and put all of us at risk.

What the majority of parents fail to learn is that vaccine damage is not opinion, but based on documented facts with detailed references, most of it from the Center of Disease Control (CDC) itself.  They don’t hear things like the fact that there are more than one hundred vaccine antigens that are injected into children before kindergarten, that the U.S. has paid more than $1 billion to vaccine injured people, that most outbreaks occur in fully vaccinated or over 95% vaccinated populations, that the government’s own records clearly show that childhood diseases (including polio) were in sharp decline before the introduction of vaccines, that vaccines contain at least 39 different toxic additives, preservatives and cell types introduced during the manufacturing process, that the combination effect of all these toxins in children has never been studied (nor has the effect several toxins and antigens being administered at the same time been studied), that cow, chicken, pig, monkey, and human fetus tissue are commonly used in the manufacturing of vaccines, that therefore vaccines can contain contaminants from these animals that are passed on to the vaccinated child…

When it comes to the supposed safety of vaccines, most parents never learn that vaccine studies are relatively small, short and include only healthy children.  When a vaccine trial has been completed, however, vaccines are given to all children, regardless of the condition of their health, family history, or genetics.   Most clinical trials monitor side effects for only 21 days, and sometimes even for only 5 days.

In addition, most parents are shocked to learn that vaccine safety studies do not use a true placebo. One of the standards in medical research is the “placebo-controlled” trial. An inactive substance such as a sugar pill is given as a placebo to one group of participants, while the treatment group is given the new drug. The data is analyzed to compare the number of side effects that occurred in those given the drug compared to the numbers of side effects that occurred in those given the placebo. However, the “placebo” used in vaccine research is not an inert substance such as sterile water; it is another vaccine. Inert, sterile water doesn’t cause a reaction; as substitute vaccine can. If both groups of babies in a trial have the same number of reactions, the study reports that the vaccine “is as safe as a placebo.” This is deceptive science.

It all ties together with the never-discussed fact that vaccine-induced antibodies do not correlate with protection. In fact, the journal Vaccine stated this clearly: “It is known that, in many instances, antigen-specific antibody titers do not correlate with protection.” (The full reference can be found at PMID: 11587808)

I fully vaccinated my first two children fully, including boosters, with no noticeable negative effects.  I never even questioned the idea of vaccinations.

That changed with my third child.  No one at all ever mentioned that she could be at higher risk since she had struggled with things like thrush and severe constipation all through infancy.  I don’t think my doctor even knew of the correlation between vaccine damage and gut health.  And I didn’t know enough then to realize that the health of my child was my responsibility, not my doctor’s.  Lesson learned.

So I will continue to communicate the side of vaccines that isn’t so prevalent.  Parents have a right to be educated about vaccines.  When I hear parents spout the same old tired fear-based mantras surrounding vaccines, I know they aren’t educated on both sides of the issue.  When they are offended by factual information regarding the dangers of vaccines, treat my children as if they carry the plague, or ridicule my choice, it’s a clear sign they aren’t informed.  They are indoctrinated.

I don’t even think all parents should not vaccinate!  If a parent is not willing to hold themselves fully responsible for their child’s health, carry out the difficult task of nourishing their bodies consistently so they can lead healthy lives, and learn effective alternatives to treat problems, then they should vaccinate.  I even tell parents that I will not try to convince them one way or the another.  I will give information, but a parent needs to be fully persuaded in their own mind of their decision.

This could also go for such things as giving birth at home, drinking raw milk, and writing opinionated blogs.

Bottom line…  I fully appreciate and would in a heartbeat make full use of the wonderful and life-saving medicine and technology available.

I also believe, just as strongly, in making fully informed decisions as to why, when, and how I make use of it.

There’s a trend in advertisements and movie themes.  It goes like this…

I want to break away from my humdrum existence.  I could if only I had the time/money/opportunity/different spouse/better job. Someday, I will escape the routine I’m trapped in.

Oh, how we love to think that we’re spontaneous!  We despise lack of variety.  We hate tiresome repetitiveness.  Deep inside, we’re courageous and impulsive.

But, boy, do we ever squawk when life throws a curve ball.

Who are we kidding?

No one is forcing us to do the same darn thing every day, week after week, for months and years on end.  In fact, life does everything it can to force us out of our routine.  Flat tires, sick children, broken internet connections..  They all attempt to shake us up and order our days differently.

And yet, when we have a choice, most of us would choose to continue running on our stationary spinning wheel, exerting much energy while going nowhere.

It’s way nicer to think that if only, then we would x, y or z.

Okay, then how about ordering something different at the restaurant? Wear a color you’ve never worn before?

Still think you’re a Viking, exploring new and exciting territory?

For just for a moment, let’s forget fantasizing about some big, crazy escapade.  How about just doing something you’ve never done before… today?  One new thing, every day, for a week?  Even if it’s just a little thing.

I dare ya.

When confronted with a general truth that is uncomfortable, why do we feel the need to bring up the exception?  Is it that painful to face something head on?

If it doesn’t apply to us, then it shouldn’t be a big deal.  Consider it a good thing and move on.

If it is something we should take to heart, then let’s do it willingly.  Be honest enough with ourselves and others to do the hard, ugly work of self-examination and change.

And then there’s the reflex so many of us have whenever we hear of someone doing something good.  Something self-sacrificial.  Something amazing.  Instead of admiring, encouraging, and learning from their example, we take the guilt or conviction that we feel to be condemnation.  And usually, the only way we know how to deal with perceived condemnation is to justify ourselves and begin explaining why we aren’t doing this or how we can’t do that.

Or, even worse, we begin to pick apart the person who is, in essence, causing these difficult feelings.  We’re too afraid to admit that maybe we’re lacking or lazy or too self-indulgent or apathetic or whatever, and instead we choose to act like that person is judging us, simply because they are living life.

I don’t know why this is so.  Is it primarily an American mindset?  Something that the past few generations began to feel as we’ve felt more and more entitled to a life of “ME”?  We think we deserve everything and anything we want, and woe to anyone who tries to rain on our parade.  How dare they choose to live differently, to refrain from indulgence like the rest of us?!

Or maybe it’s just because we have come to love mediocrity.  We just want to be happy.  We love contentment.  And when we desire that above all else, we will fight to the death to preserve it, whatever the cost.  It doesn’t bode well for our little happy place to be challenged by the lives of people who don’t worship personal satisfaction.

How does one be in the world, but not of it?  How does one bear the mark of Christ?  How does one be a light, a city on a hill?  How does one reach out to the lost?  How does one keep from stumbling a brother?

In the lives of those who believe in the saving blood of Jesus Christ, in other words, Christians, there is a vastness of opinions and convictions answering the above questions.

Some earmark verses that justify distancing themselves from society and especially any unbelievers.   Some of the more popular ones are; We are to be a separate people, one cannot serve two masters, and we are not of the world.

It’s true that it is all too easy to dissolve into the surroundings until there is no distinction between one’s biblical beliefs and the world’s standards.

Yet all too often the attempt to stand strong morphs into upholding some person’s idea as God’s standard of living.  One hears something, it sounds good, the speaker has a couple verses that seem to back up what they’re saying, and BAM! You have a “biblical” mandate.

Why is it so easy to do this?  I think its because its easier to stick to a list of don’ts than to live honestly within biblical principals.  There is that Pharisee in us that actually wants to add to the Bible, making convictions and principals into laws and mandates, because it controls our passions and tendencies.

Or maybe its because we love to love… ourselves.

It is true that we can learn a lot through others.  There is much to glean from those through the ages who have attempted in many ways to live out the Bible.  But what do we do? One Christian will uphold one and scoff at another, while a different Christian will reverse the order.  Why?  Because there is always something they did that justifies either copying their lives or rejecting them entirely.  The Pilgrims sailed the ocean so they could freely serve God.  They also drank alcohol.  As did Calvin.  Luther poked holes in the Church’s bubble, insisting on returning to what Scripture really said and upholding God’s grace.  He also questioned the book of James, since it says faith without works is dead.  C.S Lewis touches the lives of many through his writings even today.  He also smoked a pipe.  Charles Spurgeon has spurred other believers’ faith through his writings and sermons.  He also smoked cigars.

Perhaps they had it right, though.  They didn’t waste their energies defending what they most certainly would have to defend in this day.  They loved God with their whole hearts, and their lives were consumed with that passion.  But can you imagine them attempting to speak at or attend many churches today?  The shocked cries would drown out their message.  Because Christianity today often simply means “we do not do this” or “we do this.”

Where is Christ in all of this?  Where is the winebibber and friend of publicans and sinners?  (Yes, I left out glutton, since that seems to be acceptable now.  Drinking wine for communion is a stumbling block and offense, but how many potlucks have you been to recently that decide to forgo the desserts to help those struggling with weight or diet issues?   In my experience, the dessert table is twice as big.)

It must be possible to be a friend of unbelievers, since that is exactly what Jesus was.  Not what Jesus did.  Was.  Once again, he didn’t give us a list of do’s and don’ts that we could check off with our little red pens.  Just a principal, along with an example.  He lived it out.  It was his heart.

If we truly have a balance in how we live out our beliefs, some will think we are too religious and others will think we are a bit too worldly.  Jesus spoke some pretty harsh words of truth that some just couldn’t accept.  Not afraid to speak honestly and plainly, he was a threat to many.  Wasn’t he just a bit too strict about being the only way?  Sounds a little too Christian.  Oh, but others saw him eating and drinking with the untouchables, attending parties and breaking religious laws.  Wasn’t he just a bit too unholy?  Sounds a little worldly.

What speaks more loudly to people?  Is it my long list of don’ts?  Or is it the way I treat others through love and service, the love I have for the Word along with the sincerity to apply it, and the honesty with which I view my flaws and weaknesses?

Let us hold fast in faith and love so that we can encourage fellow believers.
AND let us put on our armor so that we can wine and dine with ‘publicans and sinners’.

On what basis do you make choices?

We all have a standard.  We all have a starting point at which we begin when weighing the options before us.  We all have a lens through which we view the world.

What’s yours?

Generally speaking, I think perhaps the most common answers would be morality, how it may affect others, or how it would affect our self.  Of course, there are also many who would claim the Bible as their basis.

Yet, I think they all really boil down to one issue.  Our happiness.

Oh, how we insist on being happy!

An agnostic who claims that they follow social moral codes; isn’t that about doing what pleases others so that they can live peaceably and happily?  (Never mind the question of where the social morality comes from and what it’s based on!)

All who claim to be concerned about others and relationships first and foremost; isn’t that really the same as the agnostic?  Making decisions that result in harmony and love with others so that we can be happy?

Christians who claim to follow what the Bible teaches grapple with teachings and concepts that seem to ignore our happiness.  It doesn’t really mean that.  It couldn’t.  Why?  Because we believe that following that would make us unhappy.

And isn’t that what God desires for us more than anything?  To be happy?

Um, no.

Very clearly and absolutely.  NO.

What God does desire is holiness.

Imagine if we really used holiness as the standard to base every decision on.  Think of the huge strides we would make in our closeness to Him if we were more concerned with being holy than with being happy.

It may mean doing something really hard and uncomfortable.  Or, it may mean not doing something that we really, really want.

It may mean a heartbreak.

It’s not mean.  It’s freeing.  Happiness is nothing but passing fancies, changing moods and fleeting desires.

But holiness… Ah, now that sets us free from ourselves and all the rot, decay and mold of our inner self that whispers sweetly while breathing death.

God has never promised happiness to those who serve and love him.  He doesn’t need to.  When just a shadow of the true radiance of the riches of His glory is sensed, when we catch just a fraction of understanding of the great depth of His grace towards us, we cannot help but cast everything at His feet in gratitude.

And then we are content no longer with mere happiness.  No, we shake off the devastating lie of Happiness’ lure, leaving it lying in the mud along with the filth of our personal plans, selfish dreams and lofty opinions.

For we have tasted His joy.

I love simplicity.  There is a beauty to things basic and pure.  There is a sense of wholesomeness, of comfort.  I like its unpretentious existence.  I like how it brings a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

I love extravagance.  There is a beauty to things gourmet and lovely.  There is a sense of indulgence, of enjoyment.  I like its pleasurable luxury.  I like how it brings a sense of delight and fun.

Simplicity is overrated.  It often translates into harder, longer, or slower.  It may mean wasted time and energy.  It’s usually inefficient and uneconomical.  It doesn’t even really make sense.

Extravagance is overrated.  It often translates into costlier, lengthier, or slower.  It may mean wasted time and money.  It’s usually mindless and uneconomical.  It doesn’t even really make sense.

It’s a paradox.

We did the back-to-basic lifestyle at the farm and enjoyed many aspects of it.  I believe it offered opportunities that were needed for us, our children, and our family as a whole.  Through being mindfully simple, we experienced things that we wouldn’t have otherwise, such as cooking on a wood stove.

But we also enjoy bounty.  The blessing of living here in this old ‘mansion’ is also very appreciated.  It’s made some wonderful things possible, like being able to open our home like never before.

We love farms and the country side, and take great delight in old treasures.  Yet we also enjoy big cities and eclectic college towns.  Rolling pastures and city lights each have their own, unique kind of beauty.    900 square feet with a sawdust toilet or thousands of square feet with leaded glass windows.  Daisies in a mason jar are pretty, and yellow roses in a crystal vase are beautiful.  Get my drift?

The problem is that most of us tend towards one, and then end up rejecting the other.  When simplicity is romanticized, trendy things are ridiculed.  When indulgence is embraced, basic things are looked down at.  It’s as if we get in one mindset and suddenly fail to appreciate the benefits of the other.  It’s not either-or, just my-way-or-the-highway.

The way I see it is we have this funny way of getting tunnel vision.  If we start choosing to live a bit more down-to-earth and adapt a minimal lifestyle, it tends toward a self-righteous, “I’m so pure and wholesome” attitude. It’s not enough to quietly enjoy the blessings of a plain life. We begin to think everyone should sew their own clothes or grow their own wheat.

On the flip side, if we choose to live a bit more excessively, it tends toward a condescending, “Who do they think they are, Amish?!” attitude.  We begin to think we actually deserve the excessive things we purchase, and do not know if we could function without them.

Why do lifestyle choices affect us this way?  I believe it is because we have a choice.  If we all lived identically and knew no other way, there would be no reason to compare or see any nobleness in how we were living.  It would just be the way things were.

But, most of do choose, and it is the thought-processes, worldview, and experiences that direct those choices that ultimately cause us to believe the choice itself proves we are “better”.  Better person, better neighbor, better citizen, better than what we were before.  It only stands to reason that if believe in our own hearts that our lifestyle choices made us better, if everyone else did the same thing, they’d be better, too.

Of course, most people would read that and think, “I don’t do that.”  Think about it.  Be honest.  I think we all do to a certain extent.  Family A turns from a nice home and well-paying but stressful job to move to a fixer-upper in the country.  They feel closer as a family, life slows down enough for them to feel like they can actually enjoy it, and they experience a deeper satisfaction through working close to creation and the seasons.  Eventually though, a changed personal view of what is most important morphs into a judgment against those who still live the way they once did.

Family B rises from a menial, just scraping by existence, to a comfortable income.  They enjoy not having to worry about paying the bills every week, take more relaxing vacations where they can just enjoy being together, and splurge on remodeling.  Slowly their enjoyable life causes them to look at those who live simply with suspicion and ridicule.  Forgetting all the little things they themselves once enjoyed, they only feel condemnation for living the good life.

It’s not just the ability that we have to choose our lifestyle that gives us bad attitudes, though.  Some of the opinions held against simple or extravagant are justified.  Those who tend to live more simply ease into such a relaxed state that they no longer see their own untidiness, even sloppiness.  Also, they often tend to be more recluse and cut-off from the society at large, except for perhaps close friends and family and fellow church members, and therefore have no impact on anything except their own little box they’ve built around themselves.

In the same vein, those who tend to live more extravagantly usually get there by digging themselves deeply into debt.  They add even more to the red dollar signs by getting sucked in to the frivolous expenditures that they now see as necessities.  Perhaps their families tend to grow apart, as each is busy with their own pursuits.

(But I don’t choose, some may say. I’m just stuck in this lifestyle situation that fate dealt me.  Well, you still choose how you respond to your situation.  It still applies.)

So here is the crux of the matter.  Neither lifestyle means anything.  You have to choose something, so do it.  But don’t for one second think that it will really denote anything of significance.  Let me give you two extreme examples of both sides.

Gandhi.  Everyone recognizes that name.  For some people, they envision a strange little man with crazy ideas.  Others view him with varying degrees of awe.  Whatever your opinion of him, he had a huge impact on the entire world, especially through the extreme simplicity he attempted to live by.  Once quite well off, even working as a lawyer, he sold everything and gave it to the poor.  Over the years, he pared down his living essentials to include what he could carry in a small sack, a pocket watch, and sometimes a goat, for milk of course! He wore a scratchy loincloth, even when visiting lofty world leaders and kings.  He ate only plain, mostly tasteless foods, and often fasted for days.  He defined ascetic living.

Why did he do this?  I think most would be surprised to learn that it was Jesus’ teachings that motivated him the most.  He attempted to live exactly what Jesus preached during what is known as “Sermon on the Mount”.  (Christians, you would do good to heed why a man who modeled his life after the teachings of Jesus deliberately chose to stay outside the “Christian” religion as such.)

His love for the poor and underprivileged (he didn’t just “reach out” with superficial compassion, he actually lived among them and cared for them with own hands), his daily spiritual habits and health regimes, his methods for political change and techniques against civil disobedience; They all affected personal individuals, countless groups of people, powerful governments, and entire nations.  Yet, his personal writings reveal a life of struggle, dissatisfaction and a never-ending search for further pureness.

The extreme example of the opposing side: King Solomon.  I think most recognize that name, too.  Perhaps the richest, wisest, and most powerful king who ever lived, Solomon experienced luxury and decadence to the extreme.  A quick read through Ecclesiastes testifies of all the palaces and possessions he owned.  Yet, mixed throughout his descriptions of opulence are laments of realization.  Everything is vanity.  Meaningless.  Absurd.  Useless.  He searched for the utmost wisdom and concluded that “In much wisdom is much grief: and he that increases knowledge increases sorrow”.  Ecc 1:18   He gathered great wealth and indulged every desire, yet looked at it all in the end and said, “All was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun.”  Ecc 2:11

“Well, of course” you answer.  “We all know that money can’t buy happiness.”  Is that all he’s saying, though?  Do we really think it’s that simple?  Interspersed throughout his writing are things like “A feast is made for laughter, and wine makes merry: but money answers all things.” (Ecc 10:19)  And what about 9:7, “Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepts thy works” and Chapter 2:11 where it reads, “There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labor.  This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.”

How do you marry seemingly contradictory ideas of enjoyment and vanity?

I think he touches upon a really powerful thought when he says, “Folly is set in great dignity, and the rich sit in low places.” (10:6).  He mentions often that death happens to all, and that a foolish man will gain the wiser man’s riches.  It’s not fair.  It’s not comforting to our tidy beliefs about how the world should work.  (And it seems in direct contradiction to the Proverb’s teachings that wisdom and righteousness equals reward and blessing, but that’s another topic!)  Even if you have years of happiness, don’t forget the many days of sorrow. (11:8)  Rain falls on the righteous man as well as the evil one, and we are all dust anyways, so deal with it, he seems to say.

So why bother with anything? you might reply in sarcasm.

One can sow seed and have no idea whether it will bring harvest, but you still have to do it. (11:6)  We are here on this earth to do, to live, to be.  The seeming contradiction of labor profiting nothing is answered by “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, where you are going.” (9:10).

In other words, it really doesn’t make a difference in the precise thing.  You can live extravagantly and miss true enjoyment, and live simply only to miss real wholesomeness.  We tend to focus on the what and how, instead of realizing that significance doesn’t come from any of those things.  They are only our frail attempts at representing what is in our heart and minds.  They are little pictures of our yearnings and what we treasure most.  But they cannot take the place of it.  We think we understand it, but then end up implying that by living a certain way we will benefit our soul.

It’s a constant tension.

A constant tension between acting out our beliefs and understanding that it doesn’t make us worthy of anything, between choosing something meaningful and recognizing that the thing, act, or choice really has no meaning.

It is our heart that truly matters.  It is seeing beyond, into what we are learning, how it is growing us, why we are doing it.  What is the point of living simply if your heart is full of self-righteousness?  What is the point of living extravagantly if your heart is full of pride?  We all battle with our inner selves that screams for recognition and fulfillment, and even the most spiritual person falls prey to it by connecting their lifestyle choice to their happiness and even worthiness.

It is only through acknowledging that it is our response that really matters that we can appreciate the implications of our choices.

Joy, fulfillment, or even growth cannot come from a lifestyle choice.  It isn’t anything of significance, yet it signifies everything.  We should be equally content in a hut or a palace.  True awareness and gratitude comes when we see the fruits to be enjoyed from both places.

When we can gaze at a wildflower with the same appreciation as at a costly diamond.
When we can take some measure of satisfaction in both expensive well-made clothing and homemade butter.
When we can look forward to an evening of lying in an old lawn chair watching our children play as much as attending a concert or orchestra.
When we enjoy seeing a chicken peck the ground as much as we enjoy smelling that “new car” smell.

Yes, all is meaningless.  It also means everything.  Paradox.  Tension.  Because its really about how our heart answers the question of how we choose to live.  It’s about we how we deal with it, not what we are dealt with.   We will tend towards one over the other, but let’s not forget that instead of simple versus extravagance, may we strive to live simply extravagant or extravagantly simple.